My partner is unstable, refuses to take their meds. Regularly snaps and lashes out at me. Im leaving and I feel compelled to tell HR for my replacement’s sake. Am I out of line?

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I sympathize, because I’ve experienced something similar. However, I caution you against going to HR, or telling anyone about the meds issue, because it could put you in legal hot water. 1st, HR is not your friend. Remember, HR is only concerned about protecting the agency, including from negative PR and “troublemakers” who stir discord among the worker bees. 2nd, if this gets back to your partner, s/he could threaten you with legal action, because that’s private information and leaking it could be perceived by him/her as slanderous.

In my situation, I learned about the substance abuse issues AFTER being targeted with considerable rage by the person in question - completely unprovoked by me. I wasn’t even in conversation or on a project with this person at the time of the attack. It was so bad that I spoke to someone about how to handle it and didn’t understand the source of the rage. Was told in confidence that this person does this all the time to people, and had for many years, and that unfortunately it just happened to be my turn. The person was on a “program” through the agency/HR to get clean, but went on benders all the time - without facing any consequences. I was encouraged to speak to HR (which I did against my better judgment). I could tell the HR person was already aware of the situation (because it was a big deal) but never mentioned the substance abuse issue during our conversation due to privacy issues I assume. The advice HR gave me amounted to essentially, “talk it out with (substance abuse person), maybe it was just a misunderstanding or maybe YOU said something you shouldn’t have.” Yes, suggesting I might be to blame 🤔 It was completely useless, and it gave me a record as a troublemaker, when I was the one attacked. Suddenly it began to make sense to me thinking back on all the people who were either let go from the agency or moved to a different account after showing signs of not getting along with the substance abuser.

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Have you spoken to them directly about it? your partner, not HR.

that's a really tough one. my inclination would be to move on and put it behind you. if the behaviour is already known, then you reporting it isn't going to do much and you put yourself in potentially dodgy legal territory.

it's admirable to be worried for the next person, but I don't know how much impact you can really have. HR isn't going to fire this person, clearly.

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