Related Posts
Has anyone taken STD/parental leave at both Js?
More Posts
Conversation Starter
Time to DIVE into a deck.
Anybody working in consulting and OE?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Feel happy for him. This situation and this job (like all jobs) are just temporary. Yes, it will be stressful and parts of it will suck but the extra income is coming at the perfect time. You'll soon be on maternity leave with your baby and your household expenses will grow with the little one.
It's okay to be happy for him, relieved for new income, and also worried or stressed about the new situation. You're allowed to feel all the feels, momma!!
Be happy for him and also think about what support you will need when he is gone those days. Maybe you have extra child care those days, meal prep, or laundry service to accommodate his absence
Interesting, I’m surprised by some of these responses. For me, absent pretty dire financial circumstances, I wouldn’t be ok with this situation. However, you have to do what’s right for your family, so here are some thoughts:
Even though I’m sure he’d rather be home with the family, there is a tangible benefit to him here—he’s going to be getting 2 full nights of sleep and evenings to himself each week. Meanwhile, you’re looking at 2 weeknights where you are 100% on for every cry, feeding, sick baby, etc., then rolling off to work the next day with no break. In addition to using the extra income to pay for more support for you, I would also say it’s only fair that he give you 2 nights off duty (of course it won’t even be 100% if you’re bf, but he needs to handle everything else—bring baby to you and put back to sleep when done feeding). You will need the opportunity to recharge because M-W are going to be a really heavy lift.
Yea I’m so confused. I honestly don’t think the financial benefit outweigh my husband becoming a shell of himself.
That’s a great compromise, thank you!
If he’s been out of work for a year, you should be grateful that he got a job and is making the sacrifice for you and the baby. Do you really think he wants to commute by flying to another state every week. The answer is no. He’s only gone for TWO nights. They are people who are gone all week. Why are you complaining? Instead of being so focused on just you, focus on your family. If he didn’t take this job, then how are you going to afford the increased expenses when the baby arrives. Do you prefer no income?
Partner 1 - this is really constructive and kind
The comments to your post are wild. My first baby just turned one, and if my husband came to me telling me he was going to do this I would be so upset. Babies are hard, like really hard. The newborn phase will push you to your limit. Look into getting a postpartum doula to help you immediately after birth. You may want to explore night nanny options for the nights he is gone if finances allow. I empathize with you. It’s doable, but it’s going to be hard.
Yes - a postpartum doula would be a good idea. You’re going to need someone else there the days he is gone so you can sleep.
What would make you feel comfortable? You’re pregnant. So he’ll have to make the accommodations that help you, whether that’s a personalized chef, house cleaner, etc. (whatever that may look like) in order to help you not stress. You’re carrying a baby, and he should be doing everything to keep you safe and protected!
I literally have no idea. This is my first time, so I’m not sure what I’d need to make me feel more comfortable. Also most of my support system is out of state.
Oh that is rough. Do you have any family around that can help you along with the pregnancy? I can imagine the conflicting feelings and the worry/stress of being alone and pregnant.
We have been dealing with a similar schedule with 4 kids (including a baby) and it has been super hard for me. One baby may be different though especially if you can get a babysitter
Thank you!🙏
Interesting that OP never responded to or engaged with any of the comments.
Might I add, “interesting that A1 never responded to my comment, let me read into it something about her life that I literally know nothing about and use an anonymous platform to be unnecessarily obnoxious and piss off a complete stranger for no other reason than it gives me a false sense of validation”. (This is what I imagine A1 and AA1 are doing as they are posting)