My supervisor wants to mentor me and serve as a career coach. I don’t like her (performative “liberal” white woman) and her management style is not good. She is well connected in an legal area I may want to circle back to later on in my year. I have genuine relationship with my other career mentors and really like them. I’d love to keep things more transactional with her but she is very insistent. wwyd?

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Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Mentors aren’t going to be perfect in all areas. No one is. If she’s well-connected, then get connected and attend events with her.

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I don’t understand why you’re set on burning this bridge. If she can help you, what’s the problem? You don’t have to be besties.

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Kind of what I was thinking … what is the issue? No one has time to spend hours and hours with a mentor anyway.

It’s pretty nice for someone to offer to help you.

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Caution may be needed if you suspect the supervisor is seeking to associate herself with you for performative reasons—like for photo ops and bragging rights and other optics of supporting diversity, but does not in reality support you and diversity measures.

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Keep it cordial. She's well connected and you're interested in her area of law, so unless she's actively harming you, it's best to suck it up. Master the art of being friendly without being overly personal- e.g., other than work keep the chit chat to movies or books you're enjoying rather than politics or your love life.

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I think I have a potential mentor like this who I kinda find annoying and a bad manager. This post prompted me to send them an email about grabbing lunch. I think it's worth exploring more to see if they can be helpful.

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It’s not an either/or. Just suck it up and let her buy you lunch every couple months, and smile and nod when she talks. Maybe you’ll learn something.

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Let her mentor you. Not all mentors are the same. Some you click with instantly. Others support you at the firm. She may become one of your biggest allies. Just go with it. It doesn't hurt and she is putting herself out there for you. That is not the norm. Take it.

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Speak directly and candidly if you feel that you need to end the relationship. Although it can be awkward, it’s better to acknowledge a lack of chemistry or other issues in the relationship rather than “ghosting” them.

Exit gracefully. ✌🏿

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Don't do this. Just be professional. Ask advice; tell her your career goals and such. See if it's a fit. It might not be but try it.

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If you think that you will not grow with her then tell her that you have already chosen someone or someone approached you already about it. Appreciate her kindness in offering you help.

I mean, you could always tell her you already have established relationships with mentors, but you appreciate her offer and you'll let her know if anything changes. Personally, I'd probably just suck it up and humor her. If she's that well-connected, it'd probably be worth it.

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I’m a woman of color and my legal assistant is a white man…this feels…good?

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