{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My wife is pregnant. Do the general courtesies of telling your manager/work beginning of 3rd trimester still apply during covid/work from home? Her industry has been hit hard and her job has been doing furloughs and layoffs. We can get pretty far without telling due to WFH but don’t want to put her boss in a bad position either.", "post_id": "5f4d098b6f4a2c002454a189", "reply_count": 21, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

My wife is pregnant. Do the general courtesies of telling your manager/work beginning of 3rd trimester still apply during covid/work from home? Her industry has been hit hard and her job has been doing furloughs and layoffs. We can get pretty far without telling due to WFH but don’t want to put her boss in a bad position either.

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I would tell them at the beginning of the 3rd trimester. If she is put in a round of layoffs after you tell them, it’s definitely grounds for discriminatory termination.

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This is where it gets murky. If she is part of a larger RIF, it's difficult to prove she was fired for pregnancy discrimination. It's not always illegal to fire a woman who is expecting. It's illegal to fire her _because_ she's expecting. I'd wait until 35 weeks or so, personally.

My wife’s just gotten into her second. I’ve told my work already and have encouraged my wife to do the same. It’s a big moment for my life and feel like I wouldn’t be bringing my authentic self to work if I didn’t say anything. If either of us gets laid off, eff our employers and we’ll figure out how to land on our feet. We’re both smart and capable. I know I say this coming from a position of privilege in that we’d be able to survive, but our companies’ support in this instance means more to me than my position itself.

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👍

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The fact that you are asking this question indicates to me that you don't trust your wife's employer to do the right thing. And if so, I'd look up the minimum required notice and go with that. Her employer is in charge of policies and hence should be ok with the minimum required notice since that's what they chose

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Tell them in writing that she’s pregnant as soon as you’re comfortable doing so.

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Your wife should look at the HR policies for when she's required to give notice for parental leave at her job and provide the notice then.

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Agree with advice from C1. No reason to say anything before you are required to - even well meaning bosses/supervisors/partners make all kinds of assumptions that may or may not be true for you

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Right, but usually, it’s because there are other issues that were documented before breaking the news. The lawsuits are not rare and it is costly for companies. Reputable ones don’t risk it, except uncle D...

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Congratulations! it's always great to hear these happy occurrences during Covid times. As for your inquiry, I would tell your manager if you plan to take a couple weeks off or reduce your work hours. As an EYer, I'm not familiar with BCG paternal leave policy, but I can't possibly imagine that this would be a mark against your employment :)

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I can't imagine that your wife would be laid off as that would be grounds for a lawsuit. My supervisor actually has this dilemma as her and her husband have a two year old and both work full time. They are using a small day care center to help them out. Perhaps you can find a local service to help you out or even ask a parent if they are available to help :)

I think of 2nd trimester being more common (around month 5). I would assume she’s less likely to be laid off if they know, though I agree with you it’s still possible. Congrats to you both!

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I wouldn’t say anything until the beginning of third trimester in her situation. Why risk it? Also if there have been so many layoffs, it shouldn’t be too hard for them to find a qualified freelancer to cover.

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(Continued) Currently her job seems safe because she’s in an important role, but we’re worried that they could add her in future rounds of group furlough/layoffs which make it harder to prove she was targeted.

Defer to others on timing. But perhaps when company is told verbally also confirm in writing

They can’t fire her for being pregnant, that’s discriminatory.

OP, what’s gonna happen will happen. The kid and the mom are the priority here. If the place lays her off, fine! She can find a better position that would respect working mothers. I personally told GH during my second trimester and I was very new to the job. I’ve been showered with congratulations and support

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