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Just keep reminding her about the positive things she does and makes your home a better place… I believe confidence is the biggest thing here and helping her get through this will need your support. Also, not sure what family issues- but it may be time to get a little selfish here and leave the family stuff behind and focus on self only. Medication may help but is
Not a good long term solution.
As someone who has gone thru this, this is a great answer.
Agree with what everyone has said here so this is just on the edge helpful hopefully.
I’ll add when my wife (or I) have been in this spot, some higher quality time together has helped too. Just watching tv after the kid went down seemed to turn into phone scroll spiral. Focused hard on things like playing chess together, card games, working out, etc.
Second thing is we did more communication about planning. We noticed when we get down that things feel “out of our control” so we will hit our white board and plan the week out more deliberately. It also helps me lean in places.
Hitting the gym/running is what helps me when I go thru lows. Best luck
First, it’s a good sign she’s talking to you about this. Next step is to realize when women bring things to men it’s because they want to be heard and they don’t want us to fix it (which is our natural response). That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t find ways to help though. If you can pick up a little bit of extra house work (e.g., laundry, dishes, etc.) do it.
As for things to help with the feeling of being low/depressed, as others have said, working out and getting outside (vitamin D) can have a tremendous impact. Not sure what part of the country you are in but if you can help her swing 30-45 min daily walks during peak sunlight that would probably help.
And if this is kiddo #1 reaffirming her being a good mom is must.
Best of luck and always feel free to DM if you have more questions or just need to vent.
Oof, sorry to hear that. My wife has had times like this on quite a few occasions throughout the years. Having a positive attitude can help a lot. Both of you working together to help each other be more positive, even if it seems silly or like small progress, is a great way to climb out of low times. Encouraging her, in a way that you know she responds well to, on a consistent basis, day after day, also helps the climb. Like others have said, maybe that means pitching in extra around the house or errands, or maybe doling out extra encouraging words, or dedicating some time for just the two of you to connect. Whatever works for her, I’d say double down and dig in.
Be there but don’t push solutions and we guys tend to do naturally. An unplanned meal during the day like lunch if possible, grocery shopping together, walks, flowers, weekend getaways. See what she enjoys. Cooking our weekly meals helped us bond through tough times and we both became chefs in the process.
Im actually in you wife’s shoes right now and I can share what I would want from a partner:
- checking in on me and asking if I talked to therapist
- doing some research and sharing it on different meds, learning about side effects etc
- deliberate planning to give time for self care or time alone (eg massages, spa day, golf day, etc)
- encouraging to make time for friends/plan nights out with them