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Not nearly as surreal as that, but a few years ago I was flying from State College, PA to Philadelphia on January 2nd. When I got to the gate (1 of 3 at SCE) the agent was like “you’re it, let’s go!” I was thinking I was the last passenger, nope I was the only passenger.
They needed the plane in Philly so it was just me, the two pilots and a flight attendant on the 70+ seat Dash 8. The FA had me sit in a seat right by the wing (for weight reasons) and gave the most basic safety briefing I’ve ever had. After takeoff he asks if I want something to drink, grabs two cokes and plops down next to me and we just chat for the 40-minute flight to Philly.
I had a connection in Philly that was, of course, oversold. Win some, lose some.
Those state college flights are crazy. I flew in from Dulles once and everyone on my plane threw up except for me and my mom. She didn’t let me go to PSU for school because of that flight haha.
Had a ticket on a 16-seater in Tanzania once. There were no passenger seats left, so they put me in the co-pilots’ seat and gave me a 30 second tutorial on how to steer just in case…
Chief
Surely there is a bear management deck floating around at the Park Service we could leverage to form notional content.
Back when they used to have those 3 seat embreair small , heading to Detroit, pilot came on and sounded very nervous and told everyone to buckle up. Guess we went through a front the plane drop several thousand feet immediately, most of it sideways.
What airport?
That makes sense
I was flying home from Vegas and got on the wrong plane. My flight had a layover but I got on a direct flight not paying attention only seeing the destination as Chicago and forgetting that I had a layover. I had my headphones in when my boarding pass didn't work, gave them the number on it and proceeded down the jet bridge so I obviously didn't hear any objection to the system beeping at my boarding pass. I got to my "seat" and saw someone was in it and they showed me their boarding pass to prove it. That's when I realized I was on the wrong flight and sprinted to my real gate. I was the last one to board and my friend was very confused as to where I was because I beat him thru security. The only reason I didn't stay on the first flight was because they announced that it was completely full and I wouldn't have been able to take an empty seat at the end of boarding.
Arrested landing and catapult take off from an aircraft carrier in the Atlantic. These were work flights for an MBB firm. Also lots of time in copilot seats on small aircraft and cockpit jump seats in larger aircraft. One of the coolest was sitting in a cockpit jump seat on Druk Air flying into Paro, Bhutan, which Airbus calls the most difficult landing in the world. I’ve also had pilots and ground staff ask me if I could fix the plane a few times (I can’t). Taking a shower and posting a picture live on an Emirates A380 was also pretty wild.
Just an aviation-focused consultant
Lady was making a ruckus in the middle seat while her fam around her seemed meh. I went to line up for the toilet at the same time as her.
She looked a bit unsteady and my senses told me to line up for the other side. For some reason she came over behind me, and I could tell she was gonna faint. But I didn't wanna get involved so I let her fall behind me instead of turning around and trying to catch her.
As the FAs tried to wake her up, I just kept on waiting for the toilet and minded my own business.
When she woke up seated with her fam, from my area I could hear her furiously yelling at the FAs and her family about how they ignore her and she never wanted to fly, hoping they would all drop dead.
Delta flight from NYC to SF ten years ago, private trip during my first trip to the US.
Got delayed from NYC due to technical issue.
Had to land mid-flight at some tiny, closed airport in the middle of nowhere due to sudden storms, together with a couple other flights. They called in whatever staff they could find to serve any and all food in stock in the single available sandwich shop.
Suddenly allowed to depart again, only to end up in Denver instead. A handful of us stayed in the closed and completely deserted departure hall, to try and catch the first available flight in the morning (those Alcatraz tickets were not going unused).
Fell asleep on the floor behind a roll-up poster at a departure counter. Somehow slept through it all and woke up to the sight of a pair of high heels about a foot from my face. The hall was absolutely packed and the staff had been nice enough to just let me be.
All three of us somehow got on the first flight out. To the surprise of the person next to me, I got myself my first (and only, ever) Coors light.
It was apparently nine in the morning local time.
Bird strike departing SEA. We take off, a noise happens, they stop accelerating and climbing, slow down to a minimal speed, and circle for about 15 minutes (to dump fuel) before landing again, when they finally told us what happened. I queued up texts on my phone to everyone I loved and turned it off airplane mode just in case it was my last message.
I got mighty drunk in the 40 minutes before the next plane boarded 😬
I was on a flight from DCA to Florida during a storm. Upon landing the plane BOUNCE on the runway.
On an international flight, a woman knowingly sat in my seat. She told me I had to discuss it with the flight attendant. I did and when I came back to my seat, she began irate and said I attacked her. I never raised my voice, I just said I needed my seat
Delayed ORD to Newark United flight. Older woman was being wheeled down well after the intended time for pre borders. She refused to have the wheelchair assistance person help her to her seat despite flight attendants repeated request. Boarding process stops entirely. Lady gets mad, jumps up, body checkes the FA into a row of seats and hustles down to her seat two rows in front of me.
Captain happened to be standing behind her and saw the whole thing. Calmly sat down and said you have two choices - apologize or get off and don’t fly United the rest of the day.
Lady have a crappy “I was just trying to…” apology to the FA.
Boarded a short flight from ORD to DFW. Older child behind me is hacking up a lung into plastic grocery bags. Plural. Flight attendant walks by. I ask if it isn’t too late to get off. She says no problem. I stop in first to tell my MD why I am getting off. The pilot/ FA / gate agent all overhear. The gate agent takes me to the desk and puts me on the next flight in 20 minutes in first class. The FA says “you did the right thing. It always gets worse after we get in the air.” Can’t imagine!
Two things.
In exit seat on takeoff roll when part of door falls on my lap, pilot aborted takeoff. Went back to gate, maintenance comes onboard tightens a little clip, puts it back in place and we go.
Second was on takeoff climb out of Bradley when an engine blew. Could hear a pin drop in that cabin until we landed back in Hartford. TBH I miss those mad dog planes though. My brother flew them and said it was a shitshow every time they went up. Always had to be ready for something to go haywire.
All on Delta.
Was getting a flight back from Havana to Madrid.. As the plane taxis onto the runway the pilot miss judges the turn and there is a palm tree blocking the path of one of the wings.
After about 15 mins, Instead of backing up the plane, a small team of ground staff begin sawing down the tree, before giving us the all clear to take off! 🌴✈️
I didn't even know the doors opened from the outside!? Like without a key or code
Maybe, in case of emergency, you do not want to have firefighters looking up for a key or a code