One of my friends had a recruiter call to ask to get time to discuss the offer in person. I feel like I would be much more nervous to do a salary negotiation in person….have others had similar experiences?

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That's unusual. Every negotiation I've had has been over the phone. I've heard of people having them in person or through email, but that just seems strange to me.

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I think I'd probably be more nervous too, just because I haven't had an in-person chat like this for so long. But it wasn't that long ago that almost all of these conversations happened in person. I think it's important to maintain in-person social skills, so I'd welcome the challenge and use it to my advantage

Be prepared for it to be lower than you expect,/were hoping for as the recruiter may want to use the in-person to convince you it’s great and pressure you for an answer. I would advise requesting at least 24 hours to consider and stick to your guns - calmly, but don’t let them bully you. Ask questions - when is the first review expected (try to negotiate for sooner and reconsideration of compensation earlier if it is lower and they won’t move on that). If they refuse to negotiate pay - it’s rare, but it happens - see in you can get extra PTO or that 6-month review instead.

And if they agree, don’t be afraid to hold them to it. I thought if I worked hard and did well, they’d notice and reward that, especially since the CEO apologized up front that it was considerably lower than market (I’d been unemployed🤷‍♀️). Instead I left there 2.5 years later never having received a raise because the owner thought HR and a regular review/raise process was not a value-added process.

These conversations were often in person prior to COVID. Negotiating for pay is tough, because we’re not taught negotiating skills in the US as other countries do. We see a price tag in a store, we pay it. Not so elsewhere. Once upon a time, HR would always have about a 10% reserve on offered comp; if they offered $55k, they actually could go to $60k. In the current market that’s often not true, but no one should be surprised by your asking (though they may pretend to be, and even act offended, so don’t let that bully you unless your unemployed and desperate - it’s a negotiating technique. One that may shed light on what the place is like to work for, though.). All they can say is no. Just keep it respectful instead of arrogant and demanding and you should be fine.

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