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Find better people to partner with, who aren’t intimidated by you.
I make way more than my partner ever did or could. They are blue collar, hard worker, but limited income potential. They contribute other things to the relationship. I’m the breadwinner. They aren’t intimidated, they are proud of me. Been together 15 yrs.
100%
So find a partner who is competent, complements your career. If you're a white collar worker, find a white collar worker. If you work in finance. Find someone in similar capacity (healthcare, management, finance, engineering, etc).
If you're and MD and can't figure this out, I wonder why I have this figured out and not an MD. While most of my peers are SVP and directors, I'm still a VP. I guess everyone's gotta learn something.
I’ve figured out the MD piece, not the other pieces ;) so yeah guess everyone has something to learn! Thanks for the advice!
I make quite a bit more than my husband. He is proud of me and supports my career. He also puts in his weight around the house (laundry, dishes, helps with the kids) as his job is more flexible so that I can have the job I do. I think the problem here is insecure men maybe? There are good ones out there. It also falls on me to not make him feel less because I make more-never rub it in or make it an issue.
Tell us where the good ones are hiding!! 🤭
I put in the work to use it to live. Live and enjoy life with a partner, build a family, leave something behind for siblings and kids, and his family if they need it. But they are immediately intimidated by title and salary (when we get to that stage). Honestly makes me feel like I failed and focused on the wrong thing in life. Love my career, but want the rest too. Appreciate advice! TIA!
never doubt yourself over someone else's insecurities. I responded before but I cannot reiterate this enough. You didn't fail. you succeeded. They failed by buying into the notion that men must be dominate in all things and women must be small and submit to their power. Money is seen as power. Power is seen as something to be wielded over someone. Find a man who doesn't buy into silly old fashion stereotypes. Find a partner who is strong enough to share power dynamics and doesn't need women to submit to him to feel secure. you did not fail. you did not fail. The illusion of gender roles failed you. Find a partner who is not fragile. Who shares power, even extends it. Do not ever think less of yourself, your hard work or your ability to be loved because someone else is insecure. you are successful in the ways you sought to be. You struggled and worked hard and should feel a since of accomplishment. You are lovable but not everyone will love you the way you need to be loved. Love yourself and get the relationship that mutually meets you and your partner's needs!
Find a man who isn't threatened by strong women. Find your intellectual equal. If he's put off by it, move on. I know husbands whose wives are in finance and are just fine not being the higher income earner. Find someone who doesn't equate money with power and dominance in a relationship because that is what it comes down to right. The power struggle. Find a partner who sees power as a relationship not something that is wielded. And do not ever ever ever doubt yourself because of someone else's insecurities. You deserve it!!!
At what point in the relationship are you sharing your title and salary?
And are you saying you have three ex-husbands and the reason for separating from all three was salary differences?
Be proud of you are! if you sense an intense financial conversation, walk away. You don't have to brag but you should be honest. don't hide the success you've worked hard for on account of someone's fragile ego. but also show some humility of course because that is an endearing quality to all mankind and respectable. there is balance but don't cower to societal pressure or we will never gain ground. Please don't down yourself on account of someone else's fragile ego.
I'm curious about your industry and comp @OP MD. Are you comfortable sharing as it's anonymous?
Like CO1, I'm still trying to figure out the career progression part :-/