Recently started a new role and it kind of feels like a bait and switch. I'm with the same company, but was excited to accept this role because of the manager I would be reporting to. Suddenly, the team lead assigned me to someone else who is new at managing and doesn't seem very competent in their role. Each day I go to work feeling stressed and filled with anxiety. Any advice?

I spoke with my managers manager about some issues and it got back to my manager and she openly berated me.

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That sounds incredibly heavy, and I’m so sorry you're going through it. You took the role in good faith, and the shift in leadership without explanation is really unfair. You deserve a manager who builds you up, not tears you down. Is there someone in HR or a trusted peer you could confide in to start creating a safe plan forward? You might want to share that this wasn't what you expected and they might help you find something else.

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I have a few mentors at the firm from prior roles I could reach out to and chat with and get their take. I'm hesitant to reach out to anyone on my former team though as I don't want them to think I'm regretting my move.

Wow, that sounds like a disaster. Dealing with a new manager can be problematic as their insecurities can really cause a lot of issues. Probably the best you can do is try to calm things down with your manager and do what you can to "manage up," in other words guide them along without them realizing it. There's always a chance things will calm down.

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Its just frustrating. I know things will change eventually if I wait it out long enough but I really liked my last role and took this one thinking it would be a good career move. I'm really regretting my choice.

That’s so, so tough! I’m so sorry! Can you check with your team lead to see what led to this switch to see if you can change back?

Admittedly our team has a lot of issues right now. We have someone on maternity leave, someone else went on mental health leave, and we're hiring another junior person. I don't think me reporting to this person was the original plan but more fallout from outside circumstances.

“Openly berated?” Run for the hills. That’s a sign of bad culture if that happens and they don’t address it.

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