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OP is rather short sighted on its view of the world. Having children and raising the future generation is no small task, and very difficult to balance between a professional career and being good parents, ESPECIALLY if both parents are working. Yet it is critical for our society to have loving, caring and PRESENT parents that will raise an emotionally mature next generation. Having kids interrupt your zoom meeting or you “pick up the slack” for your parent colleagues is a byproduct of our society pretending we can fit it all in, when in reality parents are just trying to get by each day hoping they won’t majorly screw up their parenting or their professional careers. Add to that un-empathetic people like you and it just makes it that much harder.
I agree that you shouldn’t need to “take the slack”, but until our cost structure of delivering professional services doesn’t “bake in” inefficiencies due to parenting, others will continue having to pick up the slack.
I see it a bit like having not having health insurance. There are negative externalities to parents having to pretend they can function like a single person that are felt by the children, colleagues and employers.
We need to redefine what productivity looks like for working parents, akin to redefining labor laws (I.e fire escapes, 8 hours working days) to invest into our future generation while not letting others feel the grunt of the work, but spreading it out more evenly.
PM1 - Imbalance in expertise isn’t a good analogy. No one in that situation is “sacrificing” or reprioritizing their own activities.
Your second example is indicative of the exact problem and attitude that your childfree colleagues have an issue with. Good to know you took exactly zero from this discussion 👌
Thank you!! Somehow it’s socially acceptable to be gone at 5 to pick up kids, have dinner with your kids, etc but I can’t really say out loud that I have Pilates at 5 or want to cook dinner
Chief
Yeah. And those of us at more senior levels earned our flexibility by busting our butts when we were associates and senior associates.
Take control. Don’t blame others for your problems or shortcomings. Set boundaries. Remember - you are in control (coming from someone with toddlers + two full time demanding jobs + 0 family support)
I once had similar thoughts as op until I recently have my baby… then my priorities will never be the same again. It’s not something that can be explained and understood, unless you experience it yourself 😌
Fine take, but we’re in the minority so here’s what to do. I used to work at a “family friendly” boutique shop where we got 3-5pm off to pick kids up from school and make dinner and shit. Completely ludicrous. So for the team members I relied on that kept to these stupid hours, I would throw blocks on their calendar from 6-8 or 8-10 where I would require that they work on things I needed for the following morning. If they didn’t do those things then I had cause to escalate to management. Can’t help you on the calls though. If they’re gonna have kids barging in then don’t include them and see if you can get their action items added prior to the call. They’ll get the message quickly
You’re a blast.
Whatever your level - take breaks for kids or yoga or just to sit in the sun but make up for it. Plan the break and work and normalise the freedom to set your own day. Getting your outcomes in place should be the priority. Why are we trying to set a hierarchy here?
Rising Star
I’m all for giving accommodations to parents. As long as they spend the same amount of time and effort doing work as people without kids.
And as long as it doesn’t blow up the nights/gym/date times of people who don’t have kids because we have to wait on them to put Sally to sleep
Rising Star
Did you steal my post LOL
Why the generalization? If there are specific colleagues with kids for whom you are picking the slack, just work through the right channels to get it addressed.
A few thoughts on this well-tread complaint: Many of the people with flexibility at this stage were younger people working with less flexibility at one time. Some of that is earned by reliability and delivery over the long term. Those people may also be working hours you don’t see: I do sometimes need to flex, so I’m often online from 5-7am and/or however late in the evening I need to be to close out the day. I see other parents online at 5am/11pm/whatever as well. Beyond that, the people I work with don’t ask what my personal appointments are. My personal reasons are mine, theirs are theirs. I often have no idea which of my coworkers have kids and which do not. Outside places like banking, it’s often the case that nobody cares as long as you get your part done. Get it done and manage your schedule accordingly.
Isolated case, not very common.
Married people may need accommodations but are more safe bet for any corporation
Also shows that op has very little tolerance
What a bad take. Most likely you’re mediocre at your job and you overcommit, then end up blaming others for your inability to manage expectations and produce.
You lack serious empathy and I hope you get a better head on your shoulders someday soon with a nice reality check.
But I do empathize with you. I was once lost in the working world but now realize there truly are more important things than staying up until midnight writing a proposal that we won’t win. Good luck and I hope you find a good mentor. I’d happily help you navigate as well.
I also sometimes have this frustration but also try to look at it from a different perspective- if things like child care were easily affordable and accessible and trustworthy, I agree that parents should take advantage of it but asking a parent to pay more than I pay for rent on monthly child care just because they wanted to have kids is horrifying. And I imagine how much my parents had to give up to get me to where I am and I imagine they needed empathy then too… someday we might be in that position… it doesn’t cost us anything (material) to skip Pilates or make dinner later but the cost and burden itself of managing family life requires some empathy
Plus see it as an opportunity for you to stand out and be readily available when they can’t fill in :)
Nope and sorry if that’s how it came across… I’m just saying there’s two ways to look at it
1- ppl with kids are a burden on me
2- I can provide some empathy that I might need in the future while every once in a while picking up where my team needs help
OP also needs to set boundaries and prioritize what’s important for them and if they don’t feel comfortable doing so that’s a different conversation