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What part of the job do you enjoy the most?
Inhouse LA? Any reccos
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Rising Star
Finally found THE one, after over a year of searching and trying out at least 5 different ones!
A nice comfortable office chair.
https://ergochair.co/collections/chairs/products/ergonomics-mesh-chair-w-adjustable-headrest-and-armrest?variant=32511617597491
My criteria: mesh seat and back, arms, headrest
I tried cheap ones from Amazon. Expensive, second hand gaming chairs. Tried HM Aeron (second hand) and while I didn't like the bulk and the general design, I was sold on the mesh seating. I wanted to get the ErgoChair 2 from autonomous, but it doesn't have mesh seat.
AMA.
Anyone at EY wanna trade RAC awards ;)
What percent should you put in your 401k
I hate traveling with a coat
ATL now too big to fail?
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OP is rather short sighted on its view of the world. Having children and raising the future generation is no small task, and very difficult to balance between a professional career and being good parents, ESPECIALLY if both parents are working. Yet it is critical for our society to have loving, caring and PRESENT parents that will raise an emotionally mature next generation. Having kids interrupt your zoom meeting or you “pick up the slack” for your parent colleagues is a byproduct of our society pretending we can fit it all in, when in reality parents are just trying to get by each day hoping they won’t majorly screw up their parenting or their professional careers. Add to that un-empathetic people like you and it just makes it that much harder.
I agree that you shouldn’t need to “take the slack”, but until our cost structure of delivering professional services doesn’t “bake in” inefficiencies due to parenting, others will continue having to pick up the slack.
I see it a bit like having not having health insurance. There are negative externalities to parents having to pretend they can function like a single person that are felt by the children, colleagues and employers.
We need to redefine what productivity looks like for working parents, akin to redefining labor laws (I.e fire escapes, 8 hours working days) to invest into our future generation while not letting others feel the grunt of the work, but spreading it out more evenly.
PM1 - Imbalance in expertise isn’t a good analogy. No one in that situation is “sacrificing” or reprioritizing their own activities.
Your second example is indicative of the exact problem and attitude that your childfree colleagues have an issue with. Good to know you took exactly zero from this discussion 👌
Thank you!! Somehow it’s socially acceptable to be gone at 5 to pick up kids, have dinner with your kids, etc but I can’t really say out loud that I have Pilates at 5 or want to cook dinner
Chief
Yeah. And those of us at more senior levels earned our flexibility by busting our butts when we were associates and senior associates.
The problem isn’t parents/kids, you’re either just on a bad team or you have unreasonable expectations, or maybe a bit of both.
It’s all about boundaries. If you don’t want to hear a screaming kid, set a boundary. Have a conversation with the person. Tell them their dog, kid, grandma is distracting. Want to go for a run everyday? Put it in your calendar and refuse to take meetings at that time. Don’t want work bothering you on PTO? Take all apps off your phone. Don’t bring your computer. Boundaries are the key to a successful WLB. Boundaries are your responsibility at any level.
What companies and teams do y’all work on? I have a kid now but didn’t before and if I had a hard stop then, no one ever questioned it. I got my shit done and was flexible when needed, but no one ever once questioned what I was doing. And as a manager, I don’t question when people say they can’t make a meeting. We aren’t doctors saving lives
I hate the phase but it is a bit of paying your dues. Those of us with kids were in the same boat as you before and picked up the slack for parents knowing one day we would need the same support structure.
Also if you are picking up the slack for others, leadership will know and your progression should be faster… if Pilates is more important than progression, then take the time for yourself.
Honestly, I think people with kids tend to just be harder on their boundaries. It’s okay to draw hard lines for reasonable boundaries if you don’t have kids, it’s just uncomfortable. It is also really uncomfortable to set boundaries when you do have kids, but the alternative (being an absent parent) tends to make people do it anyway.
Whether the boundary is related to having kids or not, there will always be someone who either doesn’t respect it or resents it. People judge parents for their boundaries too (as you have just evidenced)
Bottom line, if you’re thin skinned about “what people will think” when you set boundaries, it doesn’t really matter what the boundary is. Don’t blame other people for your inability to set hard boundaries.
(Btw, I am not a parent, I have simply learned that if I don’t stop caring about what people think when I draw a personal boundary, I will not make it in consulting)
I haven’t read through the hundreds of comments, but I have 3 kids and my wife works full time too. If you have pillates or whatever other commitment I’ll honor and respect that just as much. If the work needs to get done, I’ve been logging back on at 8pm for years. It’s not selfish to take care of your kids, everyone pulls their weight and gets recognized for their efforts. I don’t expect the whole team to work the same hours as me but I expect the work to get done.
I think it depends on the industry right. I find that jobs that are considered blue collar or low skill( I hate that term) people are much more understanding bc generally people in those industries either have kids or come from households where there was one parent or both parents worked not great jobs. so they are very sympathetic. I find people who grew up upper middle class or men ( in general) tend to be very bitter about the situation instead of being mad at the system that perpetuates it that are mad at some poor mom pumping in a closet who needs to pick up their kid at daycare after 10hrs. My perspective comes as someone who worked in retail for 10 years and all most everyone had obligations and we made it work🤷🏾♀️ we were ok staying late here and there bc we knew that mom was busting her ass she want asking us to cover so she could hit up the club
yep and trying to say “no, I have plans” is dismissed by my boss as “but he has to take care of his daughter this weekend”. OKAY? DID I MAKE HIM HAVE KIDS? It’s a similar feel to “your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency”
I am not sure if anyone here has ever read or signed a telework agreement. If you have ever worked for a federal contractor or the federal government, you’ll see this written: “telework is no substitute for child care”. Federal law doesn’t even call for work breaks. Work is continuous delivery and assumes robotic abilities. For years, we parents have made life and career decisions based on these policies and assumptions. As a manager, I had to remind my employees of these policies, which I did not write but was expected to enforce. COVID changed things for parents, but I don’t think anyone has rewritten those agreements yet. Customer delivery expectations have not changed. I see both points of views. But I also know that many parents have given up careers because they could not afford child care, and because their employers and their customers were not flexible. Being a parent is expensive, parental leave is a joke in a majority of companies, and American work culture is inherently biased against parenting. It took a pandemic to start a change, but we are not there yet. Again, I understand why someone would feel it’s unfair. But parents also work very hard. It is not true that they are rewarded for working less. And we are all lucky we can even work from home. Many can’t. But how about we level the playing field? The cost of child care is atrocious. This country has enough wealth to figure this out and make it easier for everyone to both live and make life.
Rising Star
Sounds like someone who parks in the “reserved for shoppers with children” parking spaces lol
Here’s a solution. Tell HR you have a kid. My pretend kid is turning 4 years old this year and loves baseball. I have be OOO all the time to take him to baseball games
How about we all just normalize working only 8 hours a day, reducing the need for pointless meetings, and minding your own business with what we do for the other 16 hours.
What you rather them do?
When I was a bus boy at 16, I pretended to smoke…
Agreed. But the main problem here is not the parents, it’s that your outside concerns are not considered important.
Rising Star
Anyone who has had kids can tell you without question that once baby is born, your work efficiency and productivity increases remarkably and unexpectedly, and it doesn’t stop until they head off to college. Your life is so highly scheduled you just don’t have the luxury of doing things another time.
It’s not to say those without kids are inefficient. That would be both incorrect and crappy to say. But parents know— there’s some voodoo magic that happens to your productivity.
Anyone complaining doesn’t know how to set boundaries. I don’t pick up the slack unless it’s an actual emergency like SM being out the last few weeks with daughter in hospital. Completely understand and they would do the same for me if parent of fiancé was. Otherwise I don’t do others work because they have kids. I’ll emphasize the deadline and they need to meet it. I don’t care if they go pick up kids and have dinner and then have to get back on at 8-11 to finish working they can manage their life. But again I don’t and have never really experienced picking up others slack. Only case is when I was more junior and needed their review and they were gone so I had to work later in the evening. Didn’t appreciate it but then I just got off for a few hours and ate and relaxed. Otherwise set boundaries. If I have a commitment like a friends birthday dinner I just set expectations that I would be out after x time and not likely to be back on like I did recently. Just grow a pair or don’t complain.
I don’t mind - I expect my manager to get his work done when he can. He often leaves early but pops online to review my work after the kids are in bed.
Rising Star
Most likely there’s one of two scenarios, or maybe a mix thereof:
1) boundaries are in fact available to everyone; parents are just the only ones setting them because they have to
2) parents are absolutely hurting their ratings and promo timelines; even if people seem to be making allowances in the moment.
When I take flexibility or exercise boundaries as a parent I never announce it’s for my kids. I think overall this is good practice mainly to normalize taking time, for whatever purpose.
OP next meeting I’ll pull my tit out to feed my newborn infront of the steerco just to embarrass you. Oh also I need to leave work at 3pm every day this month and since you don’t have any family, can you take on additional scope this month? Thanks little one.