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You don't have to tell anyone right away. Many pregnancies fail in the early weeks, which is why people tend to hold off telling a wide circle until after the first trimester. Take some time to explore why you feel the way you do and what you want to do about how you feel. Breathe.
Thanks, I appreciate the kindness all. Some of the shame I feel is how there are so many couples who would do anything to have this opportunity themselves and I currently don’t have the same appreciation.
If you didn’t want kids but chose to have them for your husband I highly highly recommend:
Immediately setting up a support system & plan.
We used to do weekly or bi weekly date nights, no exceptions for busy work weeks.
Also weekly or bi weekly time away on our own - go sit at a restaurant alone, see a movie, hang w a friend, read a book out of the house, whatever
Interview ppl while pregnant
Daycare
Babysitters
House cleaners
Whatever
Read FairPlay if you haven’t
It is hard & isolating & overwhelming and it’s VERY easy to lose yourself, your freedom, your relationship.
You can make it happen for yourself to enjoy motherhood without resentment but it takes effort
Hugs to you OP!
Great advice, thank you!!
If you chose to stop protection why would you not be excited? If you didn't want children you shouldn't have quit using protection, obviously. So... if you chose to stop protection and "left it to fate/God/ect" you had to know that unless you or your husband have some medical condition that would prevent the normal outcome after such events... that this would be the likely outcome. Why would you choose that if you wouldn't be happy about it?
So now that you're not happy about it I guess you need to figure out if you're really actually not happy about it or if you are just having cold feet or what you really want the true outcome to be, because you have all the choices in the world. I just wouldn't wait too long to figure out what you for sure want.
I'm sorry OP, I hope you find the peace you're looking for. If this is not something that brings you joy you do have options.
Thanks, ultimately if I’m not excited now, I’m sure once here I’ll be a good mom.
Hugs to you and your situation 🫶🏻
I wasn’t excited about my first pregnancy either. Similar situation. Unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage and then I felt even worse :( but 6 months later I got pregnant again and now have the most amazing toddler who I wouldn’t trade for the world. 💕
What an experience! What a mountain of emotions to overcome.
Can I ask why you feel this way? Also as a side note, my partner and I didn’t tell people until 14 weeks.
I think your feelings are valid. No one knows what they’re getting themselves into when they make the decision to have kids. There’s no one size fits all. Every pregnant couple has their concerns, doubts, worries, etc. and also, not a lot of women have the best experiences during pregnancy either. What matters the most out of everything is that you have a partner who is 110% committed to having this baby with you and supporting you through all of this.
It's ok! I was never excited. I love my baby though
I will say this is a normal reaction. Not everyone has the giddy school girl gush reaction. Give yourself some space and time to ruminate on this topic. Some of this is shock. Some of it is because this is a signal that change is coming and change is hard. Change can bring a cycle of grief symptoms. And that isn’t a bad thing. It is human.
I know lots of people that have very healthy children in their 30s and 40s - and have great careers as well.
If I was a friend of yours, I’d grab a ginger ale and just sit with you as you sort it out. There is plenty of time to be giddy over this later.
I delayed pregnancy as I was perpetually not ready… I was lucky to fall pregnant when I was 39 and discovered I looove being pregnant and adore babies (who knew? Not me!). I was doubly lucky to have my second child at 45 and life has been great (ok my oldest is a teen now that’s always a challenge but there is no getting away from that unfortunately 😜)
I wish you good luck ♥️