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Hey! Trans here and started transitioning during covid. I came out at work recently and everyone has been super supportive. I have gotten misgendered, but it’s never felt malicious (not that that makes it better). I am really struggling with my family now though. I was able to avoid them with covid but now it’s to the point where people feel like I’m avoiding them and are really hurt, but I also don’t feel like they will accept me or my transition. I’m basically fully out besides my family though. Happy to chat if you want about how I came out at work and what that process felt like, or any of it!
Please share any allyship actions you can think that would help you out at work if you can think of any. Supporting you from here!
What makes me feel the most supported is when coworkers use my pronouns consistently and without question, when people don’t avoid talking to me because they are worried they will mess up, etc. I get people mess up, hell I mess up, we’re people. I would much rather someone trip over my pronouns and show me they are trying than just avoid it. I use they/them pronouns and it isn’t natural in our language, you HAVE to practice - in your head, talking to other people, in writing, etc. If you don’t consciously try, you’re more likely to mess up. I often notice someone trying to use my pronouns and no one else does and then they feel uncomfortable and start reverting back.
Also, I want people to learn about trans topics, but it can be extremely exhausting answering people’s questions of very basic things like “what does trans/non-binary/cis mean”. It takes a lot of work, and if I’m having to start at the very beginning, that’s putting a lot on me- I’m no longer sharing about my experience but trying to give you a well rounded understanding of a very complex culture and experience. When people show that they’ve done research and taken the initiative to learn and explore and understand I feel a lot safer. Follow trans people on social media, read about trans people’s experiences - we are all different, actively seek out trans representation.