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I’d be direct and say that you’re pumping breastmilk. You’re protected by so many bylaws I wouldn’t even think twice to say it. If it makes him feel uncomfortable, perfect.
What the hell? Did you explain to your boss why? I’m 3 months back and still struggling, so can’t give you good advice but can sympathise. I’m sorry this is happening.
Also I’ve breastfed with camera on before, but I just point the screen to the ceiling so it just shows the top of my head like I’m tech-illiterate.
I’d be so nervous about flashing a boob to everyone on accident if I left my camera on, lol.
I did explain, I told him point blank that I was camera off because I was breastfeeding and that the 5-6 pm hour is tough to be on camera with the kiddo.
His reply seemed understanding, but now I feel like if I’m camera off for future meetings I gotta announce that I’m pumping or breastfeeding. Nothing like starting a meeting saying “hey guys sorry I’m off camera my boobs are out.”
Thank you for the sympathy, it helps to know I’m not crazy in feeling dejected about all this.
You had a baby and you are keeping him/her alive by breastfeeding. Why do we have to make invisible something that is real? I would say it like it is “im feeding my child” . He is the one that should feel bad for forcing you to turn the camera on while juggling meetings at 5pm
I’m so petty that I would purposefully whip out a breast in my next 1:1 with him
You’re legally allowed time away from work to breastfeed your child/pump. Forget camera off- turn the meeting off
Even if we are legally allowed, practically our working relationships suffer. I have seen new mothers depart organizations because they were no longer viewed as “hungry”, and good opportunities went to other employees. I don’t think it is as simple as claiming what we are legally entitled to receive.
Had this happen years ago (before Covid, working in a virtual environment) and my boss was all about camera back then (and she was a female). They all knew I had a baby so I said, no camera on for me, pumping. It made everyone so uncomfortable no one asked me again why I wasn’t on camera and I honestly think it made her stop asking anyone else too.
Me, I like to make ‘em squirm, especially if they have the cojones to question my judgement about whether/ when to have my camera off. The more explicit, the better. “I’m pumping now, but happy to join.” “I’m at the gyno, can’t make it.” “I need to move the meeting. Lady doctor.”
We were asked to be on camera by HR for all meetings. I shot HR a note stating that I pump at times and was told “just turn the camera in and aim away from your breast.” 😬🙄 I responded that I was not willing to risk flashing everyone and if it was truly a problem I would just skip meetings as I was entitled to time off to pump. She responded with “I guess it’s ok for you to be off every once in a while” alas since no one knows my pump schedule I haven’t had to go on camera (not that anyone does except when the founder is on a call)
I would encourage you to think about how you want to portray yourself. The men (and many women) may never fully come to appreciate and understand the reality of you woking and breastfeeding at the same time. After doing this with three babies, I learned that bringing up breastfeeding and pumping did not help my relationships with male colleagues. You are not crazy at all. The men don’t (and shouldn’t) talk about their private parts in meetings. It is uncomfortable for many women as well. “Feeding my child” should be a good enough reason to have the camera off. I would just set the expectation that sometimes I need to have the camera off. Then try to have it on as much as possible.
I disagree. I was VERY upfront with everyone when I needed to pump because there’s nothing wrong and it needs to be normalized. No one had an issue. Everyone was respectful and I still got my work done. The more we talk about it, the more it becomes the norm and not some weird taboo thing we do in secret.
I usually say something like - “I’d have my camera on but I’m feeding my baby.” 5-6pm is witching hour and any parent should know that.
If he was understanding, take it as that and move on. (Easier said than done, I know).
But think about it like this - my boss is making an accommodation for me. Same as someone leaving at 4 every day for an accommodation. Your personal schedule that you’ve worked out with your manager as an accommodation is only your business.
As a manager if someone asked - why do we have to have our cameras on but so and so doesn’t, I would simply say “we’ve worked out an accommodation based on that employee’s needs.”