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As a woman I can see your POV. God is still actively working on my submission to my parents, coworkers and future spouse. Submission to authorities and humility is something we MUST learn its a foundational teaching. Not everyone leads perfectly but to be Christian is to be Christ-like in all positions. Christ submitted for us, even to death on a cross (Philippians 2:8) so if we're following a husband submitted to Christ the same way we should have assurance that submitting to them is like submitting to God.
"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God."
-Romans 13:1
"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct" -1 Peter 3:1-2
***Ephesians 5:22-24***
Why do people skip over Ephesians 5:21? That admonishes us all to submit to one another in the fear of God. That would mean a husband should also submit to his wife! Submission isn’t a one-way street.
Can you define what you mean by control? If you both share common ground on most of the important things there would be little ground to feel controlled from my POV.
Yup. I think the Biblical paradigm of the man of the house being the breadwinner, and the wife his helper at home, has been supplanted (for better or worse) in today’s society. With women as equals, most working as hard or harder and earning as much (or potentially more) than the man, IMHO it makes sense that they have equal say and interest in household affairs.
I think an honest issue that men need to deal with is if they have nothing other than their wallet to bring to the table who are they? It was easy for men to lead with there wallet in the past but with most women in the workplace today it’s not the same playground. Men need to learn what they have to offer other than their wallet and lead with that and move from women that only view them as that.
Certainly would require more context here, but I humbly think that if some of the comments are equating being the "bread winner" to biblical authority, we're potentially missing the point of God's established order in the marriage, household, church, government, and relationship with Christ.
I personally believe that no matter who makes more money in the relationship (especially since it’s equally as likely for either side to do so currently) a relationship should be a true 50/50 partnership. Decisions are made together and if one party is to more control in an area, that should be decided together as well.
Be humble and submit to your partner, but communicate and ask that they do the same so that you both keep respect for each other
I am young married Christian man in NYC. Can you define what you mean by “control”? And what makes you feel “controlled”?
If you want to be challenged on your view of authority and submission, I recommend a book called Spiritual Authority by Watchman Nee
There’s two sides of why people see this as controversial/negative, one, people see submission in their minds as lesser than, being taken advantage of, or put down, etc. and in a way, for good reason as the other side is many actually do that when they are given that responsibility. Submission isn’t about those things and it doesn’t have to be negative, submitting can be freeing and beautiful as long as who you’re submitting to is worth it
Here are a couple of videos, one short one from the experience of a woman, and one very in depth study from a great pastor that I trust from experience of everything I’ve seen from him
https://youtu.be/uiN5epCVqS4
https://youtu.be/H8PFVZgIQ2w