About 6 months ago, my boss left and I was promoted into her role- managing about 2x more people than I previously managed. One of my peers was on mat leave when this happened. She is back and it is clear that she is struggling to see me as her manager. She is combative, talks to me as though we are peers, and challenges me in front of the rest of the team in a way that makes it clear that she doesn’t respect me as a leader. I know the course of action but y’all. I hate this part of the job. 😞

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It is hard when you take a role and oversee those you were once peers with. My suggestion is pull her aside and let her know that showboating in front of peers or questioning your authority, etc. Will not be tolerated. However, also let her know she is always welcome to come to your office and have conversations with you. Once this line has been drawn, so to speak, you must be consistent with it and stand strong. This is a test to see how far she can push you. Might I also suggest undergoing some training on transitioning droma. Team member to a team leader/manager. This may slow help quite a bit in your new role.

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❤️

Have you tried talking to her one on one? Also, an alternative thought is that you are still peers. Have you asked your entire team what they thought of your leadership style? Have you asked for feedback or how they might be best lead?
Totally don’t think it’s okay to openly disrespect your boss, especially in front of the whole team, so this clearly needs to be addressed with her. But also, it’s a great opportunity to look at the way you are leading too. Also not saying you’re doing anything wrong! Just thinking to look at the whole picture.

I totally get it. I had a similar situation in an old job, but I was the one out on leave. When I came back I was told I was intentionally looked over for the position because I was gone (fair enough), but my new manager was at least 3 years younger than me and I struggled with that.
I’m glad that you’re thinking about all the reasons, I’m sure you’re doing great! I hope something clicks and things improve for the two of you soon!

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