Also, I have a lot of people saying they WANT invitations to my wedding. I’m po and am not sure I can accommodate all the people that want to go so what I was thinking is: is there some sort of website or tool that requires someone to give money (for a honeymoon fund or something similar) or gifts BEFORE they RSVP? This sounds so petty but my uncle (my late fathers brother) is asking and a bunch of other people are asking for invites and I don’t know them but with my father being dead I’d like

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Hahahahaha how tacky, tawdry, and cheap of you

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The audacity to even ask this lol

Do not take out a loan. Have the wedding you can afford and make it the wedding that you want.. At then end of the day, it the people you celebrate with not whether its BBQ at the VA Hall or filet at the country club. Set your budget. News flash, people still get married in a church and have receptions in the fellowship hall. They get married at the courthouse and through a BBQ . The vast majority of people do not spend 30k to 70k on a wedding. Tgey don't even spend 15k. scroll back through some older post with people outlining their budget wedding with fabulous pictures.

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Don't ask people because they want to go. Ask because you want them to go. I personally feel a smaller wedding is better - no one has 'cut me off' after not getting invited.

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Look objectly at your guest count. invite what you can afford and/or adjust your reception to cost less. If your actual ceremony can accommodate more people, You can tell them you would love to have them at the ceremony, but your reception venue has limited capacity and you hadn't factored in their wanting to come when you booked it. ( assuming you have?). That you really would like to get to know them so suggest a before hand event or next day brunch at a place that is everyone pays their own or inexpensive. You really don't have quality visit time during a re eption anyway.

It is very nice they all want to support you. Not inviting them is a sure way to never have any relationship with that side of the family.

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Thank you for your insight. It’s just all so overwhelming and a little scary. I thought at this point I’d be making more money and could afford these types of things. My partners family has money but they already helped with our house. Both my sides are not wealthy. My mom said she could contribute $1000 which is more than helpful but for the venues I want in my area they’re much much more than that. I’m terrified to take out a personal loan or use credit cards. So the thought of someone coming just for the party and to just ghost me again after makes me a little upset I guess because I’ll be having to spend so much…idk I’ll just give it a rest I guess

them to be apart of this special day. But also, I know they may try to come and party without giving a gift or anything.

If you are counting on getting money back from guests to help pay for your wedding, you are spending outside of your budget. You can’t count on gifts from people. I would encourage you to invite those family members if you have the space for them though. My husband’s father passed away before I met him, and I met his father’s side of the family for the first time at our wedding. They are wonderful people and we ended up spending thanksgiving with them. Had they not been at our wedding, we probably wouldn’t have reconnected.
Also, don’t assume the “poor” guests won’t give gifts and the “rich” guests will. Two of our wealthiest friends didn’t give us anything at our wedding when those who I know are on tight budgets did.

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