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I have worked at three firms, two of which were predominately female ran. It was an awful/toxic experience. Everything was gossip and trash talking the other people there. I had to get out. I’m now at a predominately male ran firm. It’s amazing. There is no gossip, no Bs, no creating internal conflicts. We talk about our cases, we talk about random stuff with no deeper meaning, and that’s about it. I love it.
This may not be applicable to your situation at all but food for thought maybe. I’m a female associate. Moved to a new firm as a 6th year, been here 2.5 years, so currently an 8th year. Myself and two other newer female associates have found that the female support staff (who are all older than us) have a HARD time taking any direction from us. They see their job as working for the partners and anything they do for us as going out of their way. They have this attitude of I’ve been here longer than you and I know better than you. They have no respect for us as female associates and no problem pushing back, questioning us, not doing what we ask, etc. It does create a hostile environment. I feel like I value the their experience and input but they walked all over me until I started taking a very direct, no-bs (arguably bitchy?) attitude and I hate it but it’s the only way I can get my job done. We have to deal with male partners and opposing counsel treating us like we’re worthless all the time, it’s really heartbreaking being treated like that by your support staff too. (And this might be more of an age thing than a gender thing.. still trying to figure that out!) At the end of the day, I’m sure we could all do a little better 🤍
I've worked as a paralegal at both female ran firms and male ran firms, they're all bad 😭. Pick your poison and get out when something better comes along.
I work at a firm with women partners. They gossip about everyone. The leaders need leadership skills. Yet they wonder why people are leaving.
Honestly, that has NOT been my experience. At all. My most toxic managers were men.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, OP.
My situation is different but definitely has some parallels. My “supervisor” is a executive assistant turned “managing clerk”and has been at this firm (well’s established NYC midsize) for over 11 years. I deduce that we are approximately the same age and Speaking to the other Paralegal (over 60yo) in my practice group it seems that she(managing clerk) has an issue when anyone pushes back to her.
Without getting into too much detail as to keep my anonymity- the managing clerk made a decision that was going to directly affect me and it wasn’t something I was expecting. Knowing my place (as a temp) I didn’t push back. After some time I reached out asking to conference briefly on the matter and was flat out ignored. This rubbed me the wrong way- but again knowing my place- I shut up. When a separate but related issue arose I reached out about that issue and essentially said- “we wouldn’t have this issue if my last request wasn’t ignored”- but more polite and professional than that of course. And since then she’s been a total bitch and flat out rude and unprofessional.
The reality of the situation is we don’t have to be friends. I don’t believe I’m above anyone in any aspects but this isn’t 1985. Employees even temp ones have some rights.
The parallels I see is that HR and the partners have given these people free range to be disrespectful and unprofessional and it’s horrible.
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