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We’re doing a backyard ceremony with his family in CA so both his grandmothers can join. Then the traditional ceremony near my home town with our immediate families and friends. We picked my hometown purely because it’s cheaper for the ceremony and reception.
Update. We’re also doing a very informal ‘reception’ in my hometown for my extended family. No decorations or dress code. It’s basically just a family reunion.
My fiancé and I are in the middle of planning this out now. We have decided split the events by coast - big formal co-Ed Bridal Shower (kind of like an informal reception) on the West Coast and the actually wedding/reception on the East Coast.
My friend is playing the “emcee” and will be virtually hosting/live streaming each of the events while building in specific timed opportunities for friends/family to virtually interact/participate at various times throughout each event. We’re taking a lot of time to “upskill” our older relatives on how to use social media and technology along the way.
At the end of the day, you have to work with what works best for you as a couple, negotiate/compromise and find ways to be creative. Good luck!