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Detach your self worth from your productivity and sense of professional achievement. You’ll likely need to work with a therapist on that.
It may take a lot of time and effort, but you absolutely need to develop a sense of self and self worth outside of work and career. I know it's hard when 70-80% of your waking hours are spent at the job but not impossible.
I feel so much chiller about work now that I've done years of therapy. My inner dialogue after a mistake goes like: "Hm I definitely could have done xyz better on this matter. Oh well. I'll give a good faith effort at improving on that, or try to change my environment/approach to help myself do better next time." Then my thoughts move on to what I'm having for dinner or texting back a friend.
Coach
Mmhmm. There’s so much power in the phrase, “whelp, Lawyer-Me is going to have a problem to solve tomorrow, sucks to be that guy.”
Coach
Stop bringing your “whole authentic self to work.” It’s nonsense and makes you a slave to your job. You’re already defining your “work losses” as YOUR losses, and “work feedback” as PERSONAL feedback. You’ll burn out because the “work wins” don’t offset the “work losses.”
Don’t define yourself as a lawyer, it’s just a role you play at work.
A related analogy, “use your white voice”
https://youtu.be/T5X3cu1B87k?si=m7qziu3gLQDyJwjP
Coach
lol after 10 years of this crap, I do my job well but give no effs at the same time. Time is your friend here
They are not your teachers or superiors correcting you because you made a mistake. They are your team members giving you feedback because you are all working toward a common goal. They want the whole team to succeed together. They aren't telling you that you did XYZ wrong, they're sharing their perspective that it should be done in a different way. Also if you're having trouble accepting feedback maybe try giving people feedback. Then you'll think about how non-evil you were when you gave people feedback, and realize that people are likely not evil when they give you feedback.
Well I know you’re not in my group, where the partner goes off on people in very detailed, ad hominem attacks for the slightest error
Why stress about other people’s money