At crossroads. 37M at $2.1 investments, $500k retirement, $50k home equity, income 200k per year. I could easily get by drawing 3.5% annually. I don’t like my job. My wife who I recently married has minimal assets. I don’t want to quit necessarily but also don’t want to continue in a dead end job that stresses me out. Anyone in similar situations?

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Here’s where the problem lies, and I’ve seen this play out fairly often… you now have to subsidize the lifestyle of two people… but… it’s one persons money… it typically leads to the spouse with assets becoming more… “aware” of the level of spending of the other spouse, which creates a feeling of unbalanced financial control… in most cases it’s not intentional… but when you earned it and it’s yours, you have a sense of holding on tightly to it, for fear of it going away…

You don’t want your new spouse to feel that they’re being controlled… you also don’t want to create an environment where they have to work, while you live off of your wealth… it creates jealousy and, to a degree, resentment…

So although you could stop working, it’s probably best to cross that bridge in 5 years or so… or you could level down, where your job isn’t as demanding, but you both bring home some degree of income…

Just something that I have observed… take it for what it’s worth…

smartlike

Thanks for your insight.

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If you plan of becoming parents, wait until after children to assess your spending needs. A lot will change

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Yes, agree, I just don’t want to wait that long 🙁

Get another job

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Thanks

You could consider CoastFIRE where you change to a less stressful job to continue working and padding out your accounts for a few years before transitioning to full FIRE.

As others have said, you’re now married so now need to cover costs for 2 plus more if you plan to have kids. Kids cost quite a bit more so it’s worth discussing with your wife what you both want and ensuring you’re both aligned on what the future holds. Otherwise it can breed resentment or unhappiness if you retire but she has to keep working to pay for her own expenses.

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Thanks for your insight.

Are thinking about this due to stressful job?

Yes

I would do a couple things at once:

Talk to your wife about what she wants. Does she want a frugal retirement now or a more lavish one later? Does she want to retire or keep working?

Think and research carefully about whether you can find a job that earns approximately similar with a significantly lower stress level.

Have your kids and firm up your expense estimates, including everything (taxes, healthcare, gifts, vacations, infrequent expenses, emergencies, children's education). Think about your bequest motive.

Having some irons in the fire that might get you out of your job will probably help you tolerate it for the next year or three. And in a year or three, having the information from these investigations, plus more money, should help you make a good decision about what to do.

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