Got a random message from ex-colleague (pre undergrad) that wants a referral to a job posting in admin. The guy was rude to me and my SO (we all worked together for a few years) and was pretty incompetent to say it mildly. We wouldn't work together at all if he were to get hired but still don't want him anywhere near me. Can anyone please share a polite way for me to say no, I won't refer them.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Just don’t respond lol

likehelpful

This new generation is lacking soooo many things. I’m facing this too and thinking of leaving my current job just because of this reason.

Hey, thank you for reaching out. Respectfully, you would have a better shot with someone else providing the referral. Thx

likehelpful

No, do not give this person the idea of reaching out to more folks and providing a referral if you don’t want this person coming to the company period.

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Tell him they have a policy that they don’t hire ex colleagues of current colleagues

funny

Or say sure and send his resume to the recruiting team and say you strongly recommend NOT hiring this person

likesmart

This is the way.

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Thanks for the responses, everyone. Tbh this was a trigger for me today. I just think, the nerve of this person. His message wasn't even humble (or at least neutral). It came off very arrogant, just the way we remember him to be.

The guy ended up sending two follow-up messages. The last one to say that he loved his job and he had strong relationships with his management. That he simply applies to random job postings that seem interesting. 🙄 why ask for a referral then?

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Wow.

Ghost him.

likehelpful

Or just tell the truth without any bitterness that you won’t refer him because of his non professional behavior. He will remember this response and learn some day.

funny

I don't know if he'll ever get it. He's the type that thinks he's excellent and anyone who doesn't like him is because they're jealous. Small man syndrome.

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"Sorry, my role doesn't allow me to refer. Best of luck."

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👻

likefunny

I can’t kindly refer

Yours faithfully,
Op

likefunny

This is clearly not a person you want to work with. I would agree to do it and then not do anything with it. Make em think you did it so that he doesn't ask someone else😈

like

He sent a follow up asking if I could help change one of the requirements (office location) on the posting. He'd rather work at the office closer to his home. Like, wth? Anything else? Dude hasn't changed.

likefunny

Don’t respond.

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If you’re not gonna work together, why not just refer him and get the bonus?

Unless it’s purely the principle. In that case, just don’t reply.

There’s also the potential hit to OP’s reputation if this person produces low quality work. Making a bad referral to get a bonus won’t be beneficial in the long term.

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