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This is 100% where I'm at, and honestly getting close to going my own way after nearing 10 years working with the same partner. We've made a few moves together, none of which were really my choice. One of the senior partners at the first firm we left together warned me that, by hitching my wagon to someone and following them, I would never have anything for myself and always be in their shadow. I found that comment really offputting and upsetting at the time, but . . . in retrospect, she was right. Now that I've started entertaining other options, it makes the everyday annoyances feel more bearable because at least now I'm starting to prioritize myself and what's in my interests rather than blindly following assuming our interests were aligned.
AA2, I made a mental note to come back to your comment after having the convo with the partner in my case about the decision to go my own direction. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but they made zero effort to change my mind and have already iced me out of pretty much every client interaction (even though I don't technically have a departure date yet). Very disappointing as it reaffirms what I've long suspected about how this person views our being a "team," but it has definitely left me at peace with the decision.
Yes, struggling with this myself. I don't have advice but can commiserate.
I hope you have a plan for yourself regardless. With this blockage how are people like me and you meant to progress!
I had a situation along those lines once. I had a mentor who came to see me as an extension of himself, or at least it could feel that way. Things eventually worked out okay for me, but at times it felt quite stifling. I could feel like my career was secondary to my boss's interests, if that makes sense.
I can really resonate with that. My boss knows I could outperform him given the right opportunity. He has years more experience than I do, but lacks focus and direction.
His career goals seem to change daily. I mostly listen rather than engage, it’s easier than investing energy where there’s no consistency.
I think people like our bosses sense that we have more ambition than they do and that awareness affects how they behave toward us.
Ya, me. And in some ways I also feel like my progression would threaten his. He hasn’t made partner and at this point I wonder if his goal is to hold others back to leave the firm with no alternative but to promote him.
You’re actually such a good writer lol you should try writing a book about this. You’ve got the whole plot, characters, foresight, ambitions. I’d be a reader.
Yes, you become their only key to success
Yes and it was a major part of why I left my last firm. I would get promoted (from associate to senior associate) but in my day to day, nothing would change. In fact I would begin taking my own cases but would have to put a pause on doing so because the work with the partner was still taking up so much of my time