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I got a remote L6 SWE offer at Google but the RSUs are too low for that level ($625k over 4 years), could not negotiate it higher. I’ve accepted the offer but trying to be hopeful that I could make it more equitable in the future if I perform well. Are stock refreshers based on the initial RSU grant or solely based on performance? Google
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I'll be the first to say that it was the best decision we ever made as a family. The dividends of fulfillment, joy, and the amount my children flourish can't be compared to in dollars.
I know it's against supposed feminist views but the vast majority of women will get far more fulfilment raising their children than making their CEO money.
My kids are 14 and 16. My wife regrets the choice.
It may be easier if you are waiting until your 30s to have kids and have already had a mini career and will be mid to late 50s by the time kids are out of the house.
It is hard to get back into a career after 7-10 years out (assuming that you stay home while Pre-K). And even elementary and middle school kids will have a ton of activities that require support. My wife basically was on duty from 2 or 3 until 8pm. Hard to go back to work 9-5 and split that second shift with your spouse when you aren't used to it.
Wife enjoyed the time with the kids but didn't find much fulfillment being the "class mom"/ go to volunteer. Had our first in our mid 20s, sow we are in our early 40s and she is looking at 20 pretty unstructured years before I retire or basically starting over and competing with people who are 15 years young.
It is absolutely great for the 5-10 years that the kids are little but impacts the rest of your life options.
Zero regrets in my family
I really wish my wife would take a break for a few years and focus on our 6yr old. She doesn’t enjoy her role/job that much any more even though she’s really good at what she does. We worked very hard in our 20s and early 30s make over 1M currently ( both 39YO) . So dropping one income would have minimal impact on our quality of life, in fact I feel it would have a positive effect.
The struggle she’s having is that her sense of self-worth is deeply tied to her job and she gets super anxious about the impact a 3-5 year break will have !
We talk about it almost every week, but haven’t been able to get over the hump
KPMG my wife was a stay at home mom. I know what they do and what they contribute to the family and community.
If you reread my statement, I just said don't push your wife to be a stay at home mom if she is resisting it. Assuming that your wife fits the stereotype and that you know better than she does what will make her happy seems bad.
I don't think that we actually have that good a data on how many women are happy as stay at home moms. Historically, once we gave moms the option to work in the 70s, many chose to stop being stay at home moms. That has to mean something. You have to think that they know better what makes them happy.
Today it is difficult for many families to give up the second income, so at the margin there are probably many that would prefer to stay home but don't. In the 50s too many women had to stay home and today too few get too.
There is also real mismatch in timing. You have a working life of ~45 years and kids around the home for ~25. Filling the other 20 with activities that give you the same sense of purpose and structure as paid work is hard.
There are some human instincts that still apply to us and will tell us if we should or should not. My mother was the bread winner and my father chose to be the stay at home parent to raise us. Kudos to my dad for raising us and my mother for providing for us
If that’s what works best for your family don’t worry about what random people think.
Enthusiast
That’s enough income to do what millions of people would love to do.
Money or time… what’s more important?