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Creative at MediaCom NYC. Thoughts?
Guys help me on this -
When consulting companies promote self care
I need USB referrals
Question: do guys like glasses on women?
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I feel like I put up with less crap. I’m maybe less “ambitious” in a delirious sense (like going all in - working nights and weekends) but my ability to set boundaries has, I believe, made my leaders respect and trust me more. More assertive about my choices and more efficient.
Chief
So many ways:
1) I let go more, delegated more and empowered more. With more to sweat at home and I had to stop sweating the small stuff at work and in life. Learned to let it go (singing frozen song)
2) set boundaries - with a fixed amount of time for work I had to get clear with people the times I could and couldn’t do work. My team knows I can’t log on before or after a certain time but I’ll always get back (weekends and nights). And I let them know that they didn’t have to respond at those crazy times. I’m getting better at sending stuff later (Monday morning vs Sunday night)
3) removed some boundaries - I found myself more vulnerable and open about my struggles balancing working motherhood. This was amazingly liberating and opened the door for colleagues to open up about their personal stuff.
4) lead with love - some of the lessons i learned from raising my kids bled over into my work style. I have high expectations but try my best to lead with love and nurturing. I’ve learned to apologize if my shitty morning with kids affected my mood that day.
5) accept the barriers - I hate saying this bc it’s not ok and is a sign that the industry needs to change but I know I can’t handle some things while my kids are young. I hate that but it’s the truth. Not for all moms but for me unfortunately. It angers me that our kids age doesn’t factor into my husband taking a new job but is a big factor in my decision making. It’s a big consideration in my upward mobility but I stay close to other moms at different stages so I can look forward to being fully back ON when my family can handle that.
6) grow my village - I stay connected to moms in the industry to vent, share my struggles and hear theirs. It keeps me emotionally and mentally healthier knowing I’m not alone.
I was at a point in my career where I was just shifting from doing a lot of hands on work to managing others. It gave me the push I needed to truly make that leap. I stopped being the one who had to travel for production and learned to trust others. I set boundaries for myself which set an example for the rest of the team, and I became more efficient. In general I think parenthood has made me a more empathetic leader. And I was going through a leadership training program at the same time that I was reading books about how to deal with a toddler, and I learned that they had a lot in common. Both taught me general life skills like good communication that make me a better participant in all my relationships. And learning to advocate for yourself (like asking for a place to pump at an offsite) makes me better at advocating for others. I’d say the drawbacks are less time bonding with coworkers because the efficiency means less lunches out, less chatting at the water cooler, and less happy hours.
Forgot to mention that it’s also caused me to stay put vs changing companies. Maybe partly because the logistics of mat leave etc. But mainly because I know that I’ve logged enough late nights and weekends over the years that no one is questioning my work ethic when I play the kid card. The idea of having to prove myself while also caring for young kids is daunting. Could be all in my head though.
This right here is at the forefront of my mind always. I’m not totally in love with the place I’m at, or even the work I’m doing. However, I have a 2.5yr old and a 3mo old and the thought of starting a new job where I have to learn all new things, prove myself to everyone at the new company, etc. makes me stay where I’m at. I feel a ton of pressure at my current co bc I’m in sales and that pressure never really goes away...but I’m afraid starting a new type of job/position would be just as stressful!
I haven’t figured it out yet. I’m in the place of still feeling like I have to overperform all the time and I feel like a failure if I have to bow out of something for anything related to my family. That part sucks. The part that’s good is making a conscious effort to delegate more (still working on this) and having more perspective on what’s important and not.
I hate that about our industry and not only ours.. that working moms have to OVER perform to proof something to someone.. it’s so unfair
I got more ambitious with each kid but my definition of ambition and vision for success has changes.
Curious how so. Could you elaborate?
Especially this past year and having to work remote and raise a tiny human I realized that if at the end of the day I didn’t feel like a shitty mom, I’d succeeded. It meant I worked weird hours and kept the banana smeared pants on all day but it saved my mental health.