How to make people stop calling me or my colleagues "young lady" or "young woman"? I'm getting more and more offended by this no matter from my team or from clients.

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I think you have to just tell them. “I would prefer if you did not refer to me as ‘young woman,’ thank you.” It is likely people will be somewhat annoyed by this, unfortunately, so it depends on your relationships with them whether you want to or not.

Sheryl Sandberg’s advice that you will pay a smaller social penalty for advocating for your colleagues here is likely true. That is, if you say the above for a colleague rather than yourself people will be more receptive. Depending on your relationships with people I would make the call on a case by case basis.

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I would simply ask: “May I ask you to please stop addressing me with young lady/young woman?”.

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I had a colleague of mine who constantly called our junior employees “the kids” or said things like “as the adults in the room” and one day in our leadership meeting I asked for us to get out of the habit of using that language. It was a direct approach, but effective. Taken from your perspective, is there anyone in that group you’re close with and can nudge about calling out why labels like that are inappropriate? Assuming these are more senior men, you may have to go the direct route.

How is that offensive?? Lol

Lol for sure. Can’t let petty things ruin my day lol.

I would be direct. “Please refer to me as ___.”
I myself would probably give them the eye or sarcastically say “young boy” but I worked with a woman who was unapologetically direct and she was great!

It may help if it’s done one on one at first since men’s egos are so fragile, but I think consistency is important. So if there are 10 people in the meeting, no need to be rude, just be matter of fact and direct.
“Joe, I prefer you refer to me by name, Jane. Now, the annual budget… “
Repeat as needed.

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