I am such a powerhouse, and so many people report to me so easily. I am admired and I feel so valued. But when it comes to my boss - who is a man - I am just absolutely lost. I feel I can no longer speak, having nothing to say for myself (no raise in 3 years) and I can't even place why. I don't think he reminds me of someone else. Someone please help me! I have to overcome this.

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Imagine him in his tightie whities and wiping his ass. It removes the illusion of importance from the most powerful of men 🙄👌

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Get your ducks in a row before making any allegations that you may be a victim of gender discrimination due to lack of raises. On the surface, it looks like you are. However, if the company has not handed out raises to any upper echelon employees for the past several years, that shoots discrimination in the head. In the "easier said than done" category, I would say you need to find your voice and just ask a few basic, non-threatening and non-emotional questions reflecting your concerns and your desire for professional growth. Lead into the conversation on a positive note -- how you love the job and the company's employment atmosphere, the people you work with, etc. -- and then raise the fact that you have not had a raise in three years as a matter-of-fact point. Unless he's as dense a bar of lead, he should respond in some way -- "I wasn't aware of that. We'll fix that immediately;" "Sorry about that. We've had a moratorium on raises since 2020. We hope to get back to normal either this year or next;" or "If you don't like your salary, I hear McDonald's is hiring." One thing is for certain, if you have concerns they will not go away by themselves. You just have to approach the conversation in such a way that this guy does not feel he is being attacked or accused of anything. It may be a stereotypical generalization, but it has been my experience that men dislike being told what to do by a woman even when she's his boss. They REALLY hate being questioned by a woman when he's her boss.

Has it always been that way or is this a newer development?

I have been there and the best thing I ever did was stand up for myself. Sometimes with people like that you have to show them (respectfully) that you cannot be pushed around and are not going to be bullied.

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