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It’s so interesting how the world has changed. I live in SoCal also. And $160k is the perfect income for a single person with no kids. In fact, $125k is still really good for a single person with no kids. I think this is a big reason why less and less couples are having kids. Like how do you expect to raise a family without a decently sized home with a backyard and whatnot. I agree with the previous post that says you should move to a lower cost of living city/state. Also, the times are gone when 1 income can support a whole family. Both spouses need to work nowadays to live a decent lifestyle. I would suggest your husband get a job.
Licensed day cares are regulated and have limits on class sizes and the teacher to child ratio. The daycare my 6 month old goes to in NY is capped at 8 babies in the class and must have at least 2 teachers at all times. I imagine CA has similar rules. I was very wary of it in the beginning and have been so surprised at how well it’s working out for my son and our family. Might want to reconsider the day care option!
Hi DS, I hear you. Just want to share the other end of the spectrum. I am 40+ f , worked my ass off through all my young years. The way life panned out I had no option but to focus on my career , and as a result I have no husband and no family. No one to depend on, laugh or fight with. I won’t say that I am unhappy but there is a huge price I have paid to keep up with my career and pay. I think I have lived very little. Life can never be perfect for anyone.
Aw. Thank you this. I am rich in so many areas outside of $$. I also worked hard and was career focused, just didn’t have direction or develop my career in the right way, so it takes a mental toll knowing I effed up so bad. But I try to remind myself to be grateful for healthy kids and a loving husband.
Relocate to a lower cost of living state ?
Going into a job, regardless if his salary is washed out by childcare expenses, gives him more experience and better skills to help him land the next high paying gig.
I love the idea of one parent being able to stay home with the kids. Its a lot of work doing that alone and it really is a blessing for the kids to have yhe attention they need at all times.
If I were you, I'd move as others have suggested. You can visit SoCal often as needed. But you can have a much better quality of life for you and your family if you moved somewhere more affordable even the big cities there won't be as expensive.
However, if you must stay in SoCal, support your hubby to figure out his career and make close to your earnings
1. Consider relocating to another city/state with more reasonable COL to your income and family needs such as daycare/schools.
2. Dual income is a must, husband needs to get a job.
3. Daycare cost is lower in other city/states with reasonable COL. additionally, In home daycares are better, smaller, and cost effective depending on your needs.
4. Don’t rush into a home. Ensure you have a good down payment, savings, and you’re ready for all that comes with a home…don’t let age dictate your timeline.
5. One your husband has a job, I would tackle the student loans quickly too. Not sure how long you’ve had it, but given age, it may be increasing with interest rates.
It is more important that the husband stays home with the kids. He can make money later. Move to a LCOL location. Staying in SoCal is crazy.
Tell hubby to get a job. $160k for a family of 4 is hard to survive on in socal.
Come to Ohio and live like kings and queens
My husband and I were talking yesterday about how underrated Ohio is.
We bought our house while our combined income was $250k. Bought our house for $600k in San Fernando Valley (SoCal) in 2016. I thought, back then, the price was insane. Now that the house is $1M, it’s just absurd. Our income didn’t double in these 8 years. I hear you. Being priced out of the market is very real.
We did move out to the Midwest. Rented the SoCal house and we now live in a 4,000 sq ft home.
Husband’s father is sick too, so he is helping his parents. It’s just a stage of life at the moment. But it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t bring in more money.
Few things can be as valuable to your kids than having their own parents spend more time with them and raise them. Do not discount that.
What kind of work do you do exactly? I’m in SoCal as well (LA county) and only lawyers and people in entertainment make enough money to live out here in a decent place to raise a family.
Always hustle and it’s never too late. You need to chase your dreams, they won’t chase you
I moved out of SoCal for this reason. Moving is probably the best option for you.
Please read “Rich Dad and Poor Dad”
Educate yourself financially and you will make it
There is also an audio book if you are lazy like me or of it’s easier. It’s for free on Spotify
What is your husband’s earning potential? What are his skills?
Not fair to you. He has to pull his weight a bit more.
Have your husband go into sales. No need to move
Unless you're independently wealthy or have a 300k+ tech job no clue who would willingly choose to live in these high COL areas. You can't fully enjoy the weather when you're scraping by trying to make ends meet your entire life
The RTP in NC is perfect for relocating to.
We are OK on my only salary. Side work I squirrel away (although it’s not a lot with the kids these days). I can usually save $1500/month as well on top of my 401k match and $300 to my kids college. We’ve kept our bills low, and moved out to the burbs and with two littles and a 7 pm bedtime, we don’t go out a lot. I could for sure go on a budget and prolly save a lot more. We’re not struggling, just not thriving financially, and saving $20k/year will take us at least 10 years for a down payment.
I’m really struggling with why I can’t increase my income by $100k.