{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I have a rather long question. If I run out of space, I will continue in the first comment. I sponsor a GSA. There is a trans student who is always making sardonic comments in inappropriate times. We were talking recently, and every time a student bared their soul, this kid would make a joke out of it. The students who were speaking felt that they were not heard, and all of the attention was focused on this trans student.\n", "post_id": "618cd13414591a002b04af99", "reply_count": 7, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "5c903a5457cf9800210d2644", "bowl_name": "LGBT Educators", "feed_type": "bowl" }

I have a rather long question. If I run out of space, I will continue in the first comment. I sponsor a GSA. There is a trans student who is always making sardonic comments in inappropriate times. We were talking recently, and every time a student bared their soul, this kid would make a joke out of it. The students who were speaking felt that they were not heard, and all of the attention was focused on this trans student.

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I explained to the students who came to me about this situation, that maybe she was not in the same place as they were in terms of their process. I said that as students in this group, we were supposed to make a safe space for everyone, including those who are going through a phase of self-loathing, which she is clearly doing. I said that we need to honor that, and help her through it. Here is the thing--I know that I have to have a conversation with the kid who makes the comments. I have to say that other students honor where she is in her process, and that we have to out ourselves out and honor them too, and that just because it goes through her brain, it does not have to come out of her mouth. I also have to say that if she cannot agree to check herself when she is going to speak, that she would have to make other arrangements for that period during the week (We have GSA every two weeks during our RTI period). How do I say that if she cannot honor other students, that she cannot come anymore? I mean, this group was formed with her in mind. Please help!

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The group being formed with her in mind doesn't mean that she has to be part of it. If she feels that the group exists just because someone in administration pities her, she might resent the whole idea!

I liked how you thoughtfully explained the situation. It sounds like you have the words your student needs to hear. I hope your student listens and understand that GSA was, indeed, made for her. Good luck. I'm sure you will be successful with her!

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Thank you for your vote of confidence. I wish I felt as confident.

First- this is great you have this group at your school-Thank you! I think facilitating is key here. Let the students have this courageous conversation about how they feel when they are not heard and what this group means to them, and set norms of how everyone listens from their heart and speak from the heart with genuine feedback if asked. I think letting students set the parameters makes it stronger.

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Maybe deal with it privately but also make a group level process comment? This happened. The courageous conversation was great. We are all learning how to honor each other and that will be a process and to ensure you are heard you can get messages to me this way or ask questions or even get help with struggling to identify how you are feeling. Sometimes we all need a thought partner. You modeled the exact same thing by reflecting with this group. Yay, for you & your kids. Hope the group culture continues to grow and progress in support of the individual students and their growth.

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