I just got an email that an old boss jumped off the building and committed suicide yesterday afternoon. He had a successful law practice and appeared (outwardly) to be fine. This triggered a lot of thoughts about how unhappy I have been my entire time in this profession, how unhappy everybody I’ve encountered has also been (against or working with), and how much more stressful and difficult it is grinding out a living every year practicing law. Suggestions for healthy ways to cope with stress?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I think this profession really thrives on sucking out the life of lawyers. I’m on the plaintiff side, and it wasn’t until a client of mine who was mentally struggling took all his anger out on me in a yelling rampage after I had worked nights and weekends to get things done quicker for him out of the kindness of my heart, that I learned you cannot put your value as a person in the hands of others. I loved getting the “thank you” and knowing I was making someone’s life better. But I realized I was using that as a measurement for my value as a lawyer and a person. So just as the “fuck you” shouldn’t impact your value, the “thank you” can’t either. We are doing our job. And our value as people isn’t dependent on how happy our clients are. No one has the power to determine that but us. But when we give that power to our clients, we work and work and work an often thankless job and slowly evaporate as people and forget we deserve health and happiness.

like

Great post and thanks for sharing!

like

So sorry to hear. Our work is stressful. Clients, bosses, the courts, etc always demanding so much from us. Workout. Find a hobby. Smoke a joint. Find something to ease the stress and remind yourself that happiness is not defined by the work.

like

Thanks for sharing. For me, smoking has definitely been a help at night to take the edge off and relax.

Full-body (90 minute) massages once a week coupled with exercise, good nutrition, and lots of water. Physical health helps a lot.

like

I'm sorry to hear that. This profession takes an emotional toll on you. Stay positive and take care of yourself first OP.

like

Find an alternative change.obe to government, consulting or change completely your profession. Life is too short.

Agree with the rest of the advice here and, acknowledging that you are touching an important and widely-shared issue, my ironic thought is this: Find a way too to enjoy the work, irrespective of client appreciation. Know when you did a good job for yourself and be (modulated) proud. Think finding true joy in the work also relieves the stress.

like

First, condolences for you loss.

We take on a lot of second hand trauma bearing witnesses to catastrophic injuries, and carry one of the heaviest burdens any attorney can carry when people come into our doors injured. I’m surprised anyone can do this job for more than a few years.

But, know that in ANY job, and especially any legal job, excellent self-care is absolutely imperative.

For me; I try to start each morning with gratitude. Grateful I’m alive, well, and am in a position to serve others in need/

Then I try to remind myself that I am integral in restoring a human being’s health. It sort of re-frames my take when clients become irrational because I can empathize with their pain, fear, etc. even if just a little longer til their case is resolved.

Also, I try to make some time every night that is specifically for me. I am not available for work, nor will I be put to task for anyone but myself.

Now, that’s hard sometimes because I field after hours calls on PNC’s, but the more time you can make for you the better.

Last, and absolutely most importantly: do not suffer in silence. Many State bars have a lawyer’s assistance program where people struggling with depression, addiction, etc. can seek out confidential and competent health.

I have used the Texas Lawyers Assistance Program. My docket was stacked, a client on a huge case was calling my cell phone nightly after hours to ream me, and I was going through a breakup. I was on the verge of a breakdown. TLAP helped me confidentially, and practiced discretion in contacting me that I really appreciated because I didn’t want to draw extra attention to my hardship.

Anyhow, I hope it helps. PLEASE, please-always take care of yourself. You, and everyone here. We lose far too many from the prestigious profession to self harm.

like

Diet, exercise, meditation, mental health professional, a strong friend group, family support, work boundaries, and not practicing law.

Related Posts

What's the feel on SJCX - looks like a great idea of decentralized cloud offering

Weekend Drive(Virtual) 17-18 Sept for Below Technologies in LTI-Larsen and Toubro Infotech.

*For Registration, Dm your Email with Job Name*

Post Photo
like

Does GDS give out hike letters to people who will resign in September or people who are on notice?

like

For those that left PA for industry, then went back to PA - why did you decide to go back? How long did it take you to realize you wanted to go back to PA? Also, how did it impact your career progression?

like

Self-Care Saturday! Share the ways you're taking care of yourselves this weekend.

Post Photo
like

Is home warranty for appliances (including air con) worth it? Have quote for $500/yr policy and my 30yo aircon is on its last legs. Do they usually pay out the full $6-7k replacement cost if it dies on me? Or weasel out of it?

How did you decide what to write about in your HBS essay?

like

I’d love to hear about your job hunt for product roles- what worked? what did not work? what type of products did you want to build? how did that play a role in that hunt?

like

Shoulders feel sore after a full body circuit workout with dumbbells. Is this normal? I am kinda new to working out.

like

Open to remote SDR/BDR inbound or outbound.
5 months of Mid Market / Enterprise 100% Outbound SDR experience with telecom and retail background. Any openings or referrals?

like

This post is part rant/part request for advice. I am a relatively new partner (title on this app has not updated yet) in a male dominated practice. I am only the second woman partner in my practice at my firm, ever, and it has been around for a while. Having dealt with various issues navigating my way towards partnership, I’m very involved in mentoring younger attorneys and particularly women. I recently heard that a young woman associate in my practice group told others I am not (cont.)

like

Any recommendations for a midi dress (not very revealing and ideally in solid color) that will go well with 20 motif van cleef necklace?

like

Hi guys!
Need some help... What's the fixed CTC range for 7A band in IBM? To what extent I can negotiate?

like

McKinsey & Company Anyone know the next Associate final round date for McKinsey? McKinsey & Company

like

Plus size suits! Help!

New attorney, realizing my law clerk clothing needs an upgrade to some nice and possibly tailored blazers and pants. I tend to have options of dark blue, black and dark grey pieces but they are either too short (I’m 5’10”) or too big now (recent weight loss). Where can I get some quality plus size 20-24 suit pieces? For reference- I have all of the torrid and lane Bryant options. Looking for alternatives, these brands are not cutting it.

like

In Bosch global services Ltd...
How NPS ( company Contribution) amt is calculated
Is it some ℅ of basic or of ctc? Or is it fixed for everyone.

Is NPS optional.
If it is paid by company, and is not part of ctc, then everyone will take it.

like

What is the average hike for rating ME (meets expectation). Since i joined recently, manager mentioned its default rating that will be asssigned

like

Over 12 years of experience in Healthcare vía administration, any ideas or suggestions to transitioning over to becoming a consultant?

like

Last cell question. Some of my simple models are massive in file size because every tab has a last cell of ~XFD65. But I’m not using anything past ~U100. Continued.

like

Looking for recommendations for the Douro River in Portugal! Restaurants, hikes, vineyards?

likesmart

Additional Posts in Personal Injury Lawyers

I do digital marketing for a PI firm. I want to chat about Yelp. Obviously it’s a platform built for consumers, not for businesses. Naturally, former clients go there to bash or rave about their experience. While I know Yelp’s algorithm, I was wondering if anyone has any advice on pushing the negative reviews down so they’re not the first few that populate? The review replies are specific, detailed, & to the point as to why they’d write it, the outcome of their case, etc. I appreciate any help!

When y’all have bench trials, what are typical awards?

Here in my jx, in little league/entry level court, it’s pretty typical judges award 2x the medical bills.

like

For anyone working PI Defense, what is your current salary and YOE? If you received a raise what was your raise percentage? Not enough people talk about true salaries and I believe it’s important to know the ranges of your colleagues to reevaluate and get better!

like

NY specific question: my last firm paid for case tracking through elaw. I’m joining a new firm with active matters but no elaw account. I see that ecourts has an “etrack” feature. Do I need elaw? Or can I get appearance notifications etc automatically through ecourts? Is there anything that elaw does that ecourts does not? Thank you!

like

I need to renegotiate my pay structure and need help to learn what looks normal for our field.

Just pased the CT Bar exam this week! I'm working at the place I worked for as a summer associate, but its a general litigation firm. Now that I'm Barred, I'll stick to Plaintiff's PI/WC/Med Mal but my compensation is just a base of $75k with no incentives— my firm never had an associate dedicated to PI/WC/MM before me.

Partners seem willing to talk. What kind of incentives should I even ask about?

like

Does anyone practice first party property defense?

like

Tip to Plaintiffs bar, the tough guy act is not as effective a tactic as you think it is. Bad behavior hurts your clients, gives overwhelmed ID lawyers and adjusters the excuse they need to triage your case and delay reporting for settlement authority.

likeuplifting

Does anyone have any tips/resources on how to take a deposition? I’m taking my first deposition in a couple of months and I’m pretty anxious about it. I’ve been practicing for 5+ years, but haven’t done a depo yet…

like

Left old firm to go solo PI. Old firm has 1 outside referring atty. Outside atty approached me and sent me cases directly. Old partner angry & threatening.“I should have called before accepting cases”

like

Who has done pip lit for insurance companies.

Have an interview with one in the coming weeks and hopefully making the move from PI assuming the pay and fit is right.

How easy or difficult do you think it is to transfer from PI as a paralegal to corporate law?

like

What metrics do you think are most important to measure for success of a Plaintiff’s firm? Obviously revenue, but what else is at the top of the list for you?

like

Question: ID, auto accident case, uncooperative client. I have tried multiple phone calls, texts, letters, emails, and sent an investigator out. I can’t get the client to respond / cooperate. I have discovery due and his depo coming up. What else can I do to try to reach him?

like

Anyone have experience with line of duty injuries for NYC police officers? Trying to get a sense of settling in claim or inevitably having to litigate.

like

Has anyone dealt with medical malpractice claims regarding COVID? Just looking for some input or advice if so

like

NYC area Personal Injury Lawyers:

What are some of the most well respected plaintiff’s personal injury firms in NYC, and why?

like

Any Plaintiff 🐠 here use a record request service instead of doing it yourselves? (I’m based in Chicago, if that matters).

like

Any of my Pennsylvania colleagues had any luck defeating a timely invoked and pretty well written intentional act exclusion to an insurance policy? Big policy limits and girl’s gotta pay her rent!

like

Any tips for transitioning into a new firm? I was with my previous firm for 5 years. Came to a new firm a couple weeks ago, and I’m taking over around 25-30 cases, all in different stages of litigation. Any tips for someone who went through this successfully? It’s tough, between 2 different managing partners who are different but my cases are pretty 50/50 between them. My previous firm I had far fewer cases.

like

1st trial (1st yr lawyer) and no one’s overseeing me. What is the average number of Motions in Limine to file? (Defending employer-entity and the part-owner/alleged harasser on hostile work environment-sexual harassment case)

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal