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I think this profession really thrives on sucking out the life of lawyers. I’m on the plaintiff side, and it wasn’t until a client of mine who was mentally struggling took all his anger out on me in a yelling rampage after I had worked nights and weekends to get things done quicker for him out of the kindness of my heart, that I learned you cannot put your value as a person in the hands of others. I loved getting the “thank you” and knowing I was making someone’s life better. But I realized I was using that as a measurement for my value as a lawyer and a person. So just as the “fuck you” shouldn’t impact your value, the “thank you” can’t either. We are doing our job. And our value as people isn’t dependent on how happy our clients are. No one has the power to determine that but us. But when we give that power to our clients, we work and work and work an often thankless job and slowly evaporate as people and forget we deserve health and happiness.
Great post and thanks for sharing!
So sorry to hear. Our work is stressful. Clients, bosses, the courts, etc always demanding so much from us. Workout. Find a hobby. Smoke a joint. Find something to ease the stress and remind yourself that happiness is not defined by the work.
Thanks for sharing. For me, smoking has definitely been a help at night to take the edge off and relax.
Full-body (90 minute) massages once a week coupled with exercise, good nutrition, and lots of water. Physical health helps a lot.
I'm sorry to hear that. This profession takes an emotional toll on you. Stay positive and take care of yourself first OP.
Find an alternative change.obe to government, consulting or change completely your profession. Life is too short.
Agree with the rest of the advice here and, acknowledging that you are touching an important and widely-shared issue, my ironic thought is this: Find a way too to enjoy the work, irrespective of client appreciation. Know when you did a good job for yourself and be (modulated) proud. Think finding true joy in the work also relieves the stress.
First, condolences for you loss.
We take on a lot of second hand trauma bearing witnesses to catastrophic injuries, and carry one of the heaviest burdens any attorney can carry when people come into our doors injured. I’m surprised anyone can do this job for more than a few years.
But, know that in ANY job, and especially any legal job, excellent self-care is absolutely imperative.
For me; I try to start each morning with gratitude. Grateful I’m alive, well, and am in a position to serve others in need/
Then I try to remind myself that I am integral in restoring a human being’s health. It sort of re-frames my take when clients become irrational because I can empathize with their pain, fear, etc. even if just a little longer til their case is resolved.
Also, I try to make some time every night that is specifically for me. I am not available for work, nor will I be put to task for anyone but myself.
Now, that’s hard sometimes because I field after hours calls on PNC’s, but the more time you can make for you the better.
Last, and absolutely most importantly: do not suffer in silence. Many State bars have a lawyer’s assistance program where people struggling with depression, addiction, etc. can seek out confidential and competent health.
I have used the Texas Lawyers Assistance Program. My docket was stacked, a client on a huge case was calling my cell phone nightly after hours to ream me, and I was going through a breakup. I was on the verge of a breakdown. TLAP helped me confidentially, and practiced discretion in contacting me that I really appreciated because I didn’t want to draw extra attention to my hardship.
Anyhow, I hope it helps. PLEASE, please-always take care of yourself. You, and everyone here. We lose far too many from the prestigious profession to self harm.
Diet, exercise, meditation, mental health professional, a strong friend group, family support, work boundaries, and not practicing law.