I keep being told I have great soft skills, which is flattering… until you realize it’s also code for you’re not our next rainmaker. I don’t want to be the friendly, approachable, dependable one while others get the high-stakes clients and leadership tracks. It’s frustrating when charm overshadows actual legal expertise. I want to shift how people see me without overcorrecting into someone I’m not. How do you change a typecast once it sticks?

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Why would it be code for not being a rainmaker? Serious question - wouldn’t soft skills help?

likesmart

I would think soft skills would help too in getting clients. Soft skills include interpersonal skills.

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Are you a woman? These compliments sound very female-coded. I'd suggest the Johns Hopkins Academy for Women & Leadership. They help you pick the image you want and teach you how to project it.

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Agree with A1, relationships are how you build a book and retain talented teams. Soft skills are crucial to that and they’re not something others can just learn. As long as you have the technical skills too, it sounds to me like you’re in a great position to thrive.

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A1 and A2 are both right. Relationships are the name of the game for partners, so either you're misreading this feedback or there's something more in this pudding.

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e.g., are they telling you you're nice but spineless? That would be bad. And I'm open to the possibility it's unfair or biased criticism.

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I’m having the opposite problem. Great substantive skills, soft skills lacking. Which I also take to be code for “not our next rainmaker.”

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I thought soft skills was code for not good at actual lawyering

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I'm in-house at the moment and the external firms I use regularly are the ones with lawyers with good soft skills who get along with and build rapport with. I'd say you're on track for a strong career. Unlikeable lawyers don't often get repeat work in my experience.

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