I’m 28m. My parents are introducing me to girls to get married; however, I feel no physical or emotional attraction to them. I spoke to my parents, and they said that it doesn’t matter: “chemistry will come after marriage”. Is this true? Does this actually happen? Has anyone else also been in a similar situation?

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There is no such thing as chemistry will show up after marriage. Put yourself out there and mate with someone you are actually attracted to.

likesmart

They do but just because they had this hereditary treatment, sorry I mean traditional, doesn’t mean you have to too. ‘Boundary setting to our parents’ is not something they would teach you. Someone else has to teach that to you, today , that’s me teaching you. Steer your own ship. Sure it might be stormy waters but stick to your guns .

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You get 1 life. Live it on your own terms. Regret nothing.

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I am a 28f :) but is it because you still aren’t ready for marriage or is it because you don’t like these women now?

I agree arranged marriages seem to work out if both people have a good attitude towards it. But I am sure statistics don’t take cultural accountability into perspective. It seems to have a better outlook because the culture probably looks down on reporting divorce or DV etc… I am 28 and female and I have had an Indian bf before but they all say they can’t disobey their parents in the end.

likesmart

I am ready for marriage but I’m not physically attracted to these women. I’m not also emotionally or psychologically attracted to these women too.

My mom said that doesn’t matter and it can grow over time.

Have you considered dating men?

funny

What culture do you come from?

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Statistically speaking…. Arranged marriages do better than regular marriages.

I’d say go with it man… the dating pool out here is trash… take your easy win and call it a day

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Asian male here, I would have an honest conversation with your parents about imposing a partner on you. You can’t force physical, and emotional attraction/chemistry. Also, what do you want? Do you want an arranged marriage? Or do you think you’d find someone on your own?

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I can definitely find someone on my own. I’m open to an arranged marriage, but it should be to someone I’m attracted to. It goes both ways. I want her to be attracted to me too.

It can go either way. You can marry out of love, have kids and 12 years into the marriage things go sideways and she puts her efforts in taking the kids from you, turning it into an extremely toxic divorce. Or you could go the arranged marriage route, tell your parents what you're looking for and have them bat above their belt for you and find you an attractive partner.

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Exactly. All the girls my parents have matched me with except one I’m not attracted to. Not just physically but also in terms of lifestyle.

This is a tough one. I have been in your shoes and have been turning down the arranged marriages proposed my parents over the past many years, but I regret it now as a single 32F.

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I guess I was being (unreasonably) choosy... Im older and wiser now.

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