I’m having trouble determining when to update a recruiter if I’ve gotten traction elsewhere. I don’t want to play games, but I also don’t want to lose leverage. What’s the right timing and wording for keeping a process alive without being pushy?

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What leverage are you worried about losing? Telling recruiters you have other opportunities makes you more competitive. If you aren’t getting bites, just vaguely insinuate that you are.

It's all a game, don't worry about playing. If you feel like something is happening elsewhere and you want to let a recruiter know, go ahead. I'm not sure I understand why you would care to do it, however. There's no need to tell them anything until you sign an offer somewhere else.

I wouldn't tell anyone anything until you have an offer in hand. You don't want to lose leverage like you said. The safest thing you can do is wait until you have an offer in hand.

Yes, this is what I do, if i get an offer, I’ll let recruiter know and give them an opportunity to compete

Disclose your other opportunities when there advanced to your recruiter. Use the leverage to try to sync up timing so you don’t end up having to take the first offer because other positions are moving too slowly.

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