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Why did the post specifically call out the direct report was a woman but offered no follow up information on why that is relevant?
Advice on your conflict would not change if the employee was a man or a woman.
The texting is immature, and she might be hypersensitive to criticism. However, *is* there any truth to what she’s saying about your delivery? Could there be a tone because she does get under your skin? Could you be more empathetic in those moments, even when you ultimately push the responsibility back on her?
Of course I don’t know the full story, and having a talk about the unprofessional texts is warranted. But it doesn’t hurt to consider how you both contribute to the issue and how you could adjust your style in the future.
Remove your ego completely
Reset expectations about communication- texting should not be the outlet for frustration. From your account, you are right in your assessment of the situation/next steps but she may need coaching or support if she doesn’t feel equipped to manage new hires appropriately. Sometimes just listening with a sympathetic ear and a gentle reminder that she has work partners to help her through these frustrations is what is needed.
It sounds like she doesn’t do well with the direction you give her sometimes (even if correct) and that is another thing to coach her on. Building that trust and reassuring her that she has your support helps flip the perception of those difficult conversations with you.
But the texting- no. That is outside of what should be acceptable for the situation. Text me if you have an emergency or a truly time sensitive situation unfolding. But do not rage over text or try to solve complex issues via SMS. Come on now.
True. I could have been more empathetic. Thank you both for taking the time to respond.
In what way are you not getting along? How long has she been reporting to you? What have you tried so far?
Twice now she has sent me inflammatory text messages. She doesn’t confront me in person. She says she takes issue with my tone, but I think she’s upset with the direction I give her. We’ve worked together for about a year. The texts are juvenile, but made me so upset today that I blocked her number.
We work in a retail environment. Today one of her new hires didn’t show up for a scheduled shift. She came to me upset about it. I told her that she needs to work with the HR Manager to ensure new hires are available to work the hours they are scheduled for. She made the schedule. She manages that team. The HR Manager is responsible for showing new hires how to check their schedule online as part of orientation. I told her that it’s up to her and the HR Manager to set new employees up for success. She stormed off. The texting tirade started up about twenty minutes after she punched out.
Her chief complaint was that I talked down to her, had a tone and made her feel incompetent. I never said any of those things, and I never would. I do however expect her and my HR Manager to do their jobs, and to solve this problem together. For context, I introduced myself to this new hire while he did his computer training last week. That has been my only interaction with him. I don’t think it is my job to solve this problem for her.
The last time I confronted her face to face about text messages she sent me, she dropped it. The whole situation is really getting under my skin. I just want her to do her job, and to save the drama for her mama.
I feel it might be playing into the conflict for both of us, but maybe I’m wrong.