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Today is the first day of daycare for my 6 month old son and it feels like a weight has been lifted. We were both juggling working and caring for him, and it was incredibly stressful. It was a tough decision but I think the best for all 3 of us. Working and caring for a baby can be done, but I was not doing either very well. It really takes a toll on you knowing you cannot give 100% to work or your child. We managed through it while looking for care we felt comfortable sending him to, but it was tough! Good luck!
Two parents wfh juggling one baby is VERY different from one parent wfh with a baby.
I’m on maternity leave right now with my second kid (4 months), who is relatively an easy kid. My first is in preschool right now. So I’m taking care of only one kid right now without working and I’m struggling because something always creeps up: he cries, wants to be held, wants to eat, is sleepy but wants to see what’s going on, I want to engage and read/tummy time/etc. I can’t imagine doing this and working a full time job too because caring for him IS a full time job. And I’m struggling even with my husband wfh to step in to help me when he’s not on a call. But lately baby has been on a nursing strike so I have spent all day topless cuddling him to get him to nurse. Or yesterday he wouldn’t nap and just cried and I took him on a two hour walk to get him to sleep on me. I just wouldn’t be able to do any of this while working. It sucks that parents have to make this choice but when I’m done with mat leave and my husband with pat leave (we split it so he does his when I go back to work because 1) we can extend need for childcare and 1) they have their special bonding time without me around for him to rely on and he has to figure shit out how to handle the kids himself) we are def sending our kid to daycare because for us it just is not manageable. I’m writing this as I’m holding a baby who woke up early from his nap crying for no reason
Get a part-time nanny a few weeks before you go back to work. A nanny who is currently working for a family with older kids would probably love to pick up some hours in the morning and early afternoon (before picking up her other kids from school). If money is not your primary concern, give yourself an option where you can have some balance. Working with a newborn is stress you don’t need.
I would get a mother’s helper if you choose to go this route. You can do all the mom things related to the baby (diapers, nursing, playtime when you have down time, attend classes, etc) and the helper to take care of your home (Laundry, tidying up, dishes, washing bottles, meal prep/groceries) as well as being a back up for baby care to you when you need to focus on work. This way you can still take care of baby, while you work at home, but not stress about home stuff so you don’t get burnt out. This type of role may also be cheaper than a nanny as the focus is more on the home and less on childcare.
As most posters noted, you may not be blessed with a baby who naps well so you may want to figure out the kind of help you will need closer to your return to work.
You should just try it and quit if you can’t manage. You’ll know pretty fast if it works or not!
Maybe if you never have meetings or urgency in your work. Otherwise, it’s impossible.
I would consider my baby somewhat easy, my job not so much. But I have a lot of flexibility and my husband is unemployed and it is still so challenging. Do not recommend if you have other options. It’s very stressful and you are “always on,” night and day and day and night. I’m utterly exhausted and my house is a wreck.
I would not do this if you can avoid it, but I recognize America has the worst maternity leave policies in the developed world, so you gotta do what you gotta do.
2 years. Not that long :/ yeah I would love that. Worth a shot asking. But I doubt it :(
Would not recommend. Baby is a full time job. Maybe you can get an in house nanny and escape here and there to be with your baby.
I’m on my first week back from maternity leave, and since both my partner and I have pretty intense jobs it was a very quick decision for us to get a full time nanny. There’s no way I could work anything longer than 30 minutes at a time with a 4 month old. Having said that, I totally understand you wanting to make it work, especially if you’re in NYC like me, and will have to pay a large chunk of your salary to the nanny.
Here’s my advice - interview some nannies or daycare centers and have a fall back plan. Then give it a go on your own, knowing that if it gets too much to handle you can make arrangements within a day or two.
Ive had 3 friends attempt to do this during the pandemic thinking it’s a way to save on daycare/nanny. Only 1 made it to the two month mark. It is haaard. And once the baby is mobile, you’re screwed.
Since the extended hands on time with baby seems important and money doesn’t seem to be the concern you could
- consider an unpaid leave of absence if your company offers it and you hope to return to that company
- quit and if/when you start to get antsy with stay at home mom life you can take on some side projects that allow you to strike a balance
UPDATE. I’m on month 4 now out of mat leave. I do have the baby 2 days with my mom and he’s with me Tuesday Wednesday Friday. Friday if I have a call or presentation my mil helps. I also outsourced cleaning the house although still have to tidy up and we signed up for food service. Some weeks are ok 👌 I cramp out as much work as possible those 2 days baby is with my mom and the other 3 I’ll be honest I barely pay attention on calls while I’m on mute with no cam and catch up on all that after 8pm once he goes to sleep. But some days are super hard if I have tons of meeting. I have made my peace that I won’t be able to focus on work those 3 days as much during the “working hours” but so far haven’t missed a deadline and my boss said I have adjusted nicely. I am extremely extremely tired tho 🤪
Since you are home, can’t you hire someone but then still be around to do things?
I’m considering this option as well.
I had to do this due to covid and schools being closed and it was honestly impossible.
Especially if your husband doesn’t work from home. I did it bc I had to but I would never ever ever choose it. I ended up taking leave.