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Hi fishers! I have offer and signed contract with Deloitte UK and my start day is in the beginning of April. I need skilled worker visa, and we haven’t applied yet for that. Screening and onboarding is in progress. Immigration team doesn’t reply since reached me out 1st time. How much time does it usually needed to go through the whole process? How many days take for visa to be approved since application?Deloitte
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Hang in there any try to make some gradual changes in your job/life that may set things in motion for a different future. Think seriously about making some changes. I was in your position at 35, met my wife a year later, eventually switched practice areas/ firms and love what I do, and am married and expecting my second child at 40.
This was super helpful to read. Thank you. 🤍
Is there something tying you to the HCOL city?
A great thing about law is you can do it anywhere. You don't have to be broke. And I cannot overstate how much having disposable income can accommodate your mental health issues.
There’s an incredible amount of public interest legal work to be done everywhere. You are not the only person capable of doing international public work. I’m sure you’ve noticed already that most if not all your colleagues have wealthy spouses subsidizing their profession. My unmarried friends doing extremely meaningful PI work in cities with decent pay and decent COL (Chicago, Denver, Cleveland) are pretty happy
One thing I learned from the nonprofit law place: NEVER take a job where you don’t have much power at a nonprofit that isn’t unionized. Just bc it’s a nonprofit doesn’t mean it won’t exploit you. Your work is cruel for doing “human rights law” while not bothering to accommodate your illness
Loved this share! On point for many of us! I like Malcolm Gladwell too!
You might want to consider psychotherapy. I go there for a different reason but think it would be helpful to anyone feeling struggling.
Coach
Thanks! I’m actually a really big proponent of therapy. Pretty sure if everyone worked in a restaurant for a year, served in the military, and spent a few years in therapy, the world would be a much better place haha. I’ve had a really hard time finding a good fit though. Having adhd/autism can make it a bit difficult, because for example when someone tells me something like “well have you tried using a planner,” it makes me feel like my head might actually explode with rage haha. And it’s also hard finding someone who relates to our profession. As younger associates, the fact is if we want to do this job, we simply can’t just insist on whatever work life balance we want. And of course there’s a line, but it gets frustrating when a therapist is only giving you solutions that you know as a professional in the field are simply not tenable. But nevertheless this definitely is good advice. And if anyone has any recommendations I’d be happy to get them!
I agree with lots of comments here. Equally frustrated - still an associate after 10 years post law school and frustrated that my pay is just good enough to pay massive loan payments while I have little left to enjoy or save for future. 1) Exercise is wonderful. 2) Move and change jobs if you’re miserable. If it’s truly as bad as you say, it’s unlikely to be worse if you make a change. And if it is, perhaps it will point you in a more clear direction (new career, etc.) 3) Comparison is the thief of joy. I hear that you’re not jealous and I understand feeling not jealous, but still feeling defeat or failure. Focus on gratitude, and if you cannot help comparison, be sure to compare on a wide spectrum. You’ll likely find you’re doing better than many, have things or talents others don’t, etc. 4) know this will pass. Things will not always feel this way.
Regarding being single, do a self assessment. I don’t know you, so this isn’t a personal attack, but several people I grew up with complain about being single, yet don’t take care of themselves, wear the same clothes as my dad, are morbidly obese, sit inside and make no attempts at being social, are super negative or critical of others etc. Just take an inventory of yourself and be honest about what you could improve on. Not recommending you be anything you’re not, but instead be the best version of you! ❤️
Do you actually have long Covid?
No, I just said that for dramatic effect.
/s
Yes, I actually have long Covid. Getting up and getting dressed every day is a chore, never mind actually getting to the office. The brain fog is honestly brutal. This is not the same brain that got me through three years of law school and the bar exam. And I was already struggling with neurodevelopmental conditions before that. I also have lasting damage to my heart that requires ongoing care still today, over a year after I first got sick.
Wow
Coach
?
You can work in eDiscovery from anywhere, consider moving moving temporarily to a small town so you can get your finances in order whilst developing your carrer until you're off debt and with a reasonable salary.
Is it fun? No. Will you get rich? Hardly.
But you can do pretty well and it's not that stressful tbh. And no in site work too, all remote.
What city are you in? I have a sibling you’re age and is looking!