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Not true. What you need is to do what feels right to you, not what other people are saying is the norm.
Your happiness is what matters.
I'm 28. My number is 5, I went from zero to 5 in a two year period. Only one was someone I was dating.
Sex had never been a priority to me, but I felt that I was at an age where I should explore. I don't regret it, but I'd honestly go back to zero and be just fine.
Do you. Its really weird the pressure we put on each other and in an effort to be sex positive we create more pressure.
I'm here for sex neutrality. It is whatever it needs to be for you and your life. Period.
Also.....every new partners is a gamble. You could have a hoe phase and have nothing but terrible partners
Pro
It’s your life, why does it matter if other people think you haven’t slept with enough or too many men? If you want to settle down with one person, then do so.
If you have a great sex life now, I'm telling you from experience it ain't worth it! I took a break from my boyfriend who I was with for about 5 years and had a hoe phase at 23. My biggest let down was realizing men with no emotional commitment to you give trash sex like 9/10 times lol so I racked up bodies and only one of those people were actually good in bed. The rest I wish I could forget lol I don't regret the phase as I just took it as an experience and lesson but I really don't think every woman "needs" this phase. It does sound like some of the women in your circle may be a bit jealous but as another poster said, do what feels right for you not what others think you need to do!
Im 29 and have been with 23 partners lol… i traveled around the world, had my “ hoe” phase and got it out my system and now looking to settle down. Everyone is different, do i regret it? no but would I advocate for it? Also no. Everyone is different and my not enjoy sexually experiencing different men
Tough one. I started dating my husband at 20. Got married at 25. A couple years in, I started getting the burning desire for new intimacy. Took a brief sabbatical from my marriage and got it out of my system 🙈😬 now I’m mid-30s with kids and haven’t had any further deviations or any temptations. This is probably entirely unhelpful because I wouldn’t suggest dumping a great guy for the sake of exploration but I also do struggle with the thought of 60 years of monogamy with the same person.
Jesus Christ. I hope your sabbatical turned into a divorce. No man deserves someone like you beside them.
Thank you PwC and M1 for sharing. I am taking this break to reflect and I think the main deterrent for me has been me equating sex with love/something real deep. A boy exposed himself/molested me when I was 5 and although I’m not traumatized by it, I remember at the age of FIVE being told by my parents that I should only share my body with a man who truly loved me and who I felt deserved it. That was my first intro to what sex was. And my mindset around sex was developed from this experience.
I felt like I would be letting myself down if I slept with men who didn’t love me.
I lost my virginity at 20 to my first love and then have a great sex life with my current partner.
I think the thing that’s hard for me with sex is being able to categorize it separately from love.
My friends find this unrealistic in the day and age. And they’re making me feel like I’m inexperienced/ “not mature” into myself because I haven’t had many partners. Idk how to describe. It’s kind of like just side comments
Y’all are onto something 🤔 I was just side eyeing one of these girls a couple of weeks ago because at brunch, whenever one of the other friends asked me about wedding planning, she would start to talk over me and even began to talk about the dream wedding she would plan (and she’s not even dating) and I couldn’t get a word in. I found it weird af
This is a good reminder to be mindful of my friend circle going into this new season. Thank you
Do you wonder because other people say so or because you wanted to experience more? If the former, no need to worry. If the latter, it deserves some thought
I think we can always look back at our lives and wonder about different paths. If you’re happy with your path now, I don’t think you can regret not taking another one.
Something that helps me: if you’re thinking of all the positives of another path, think through the negatives too. You might have been able to explore different people and understand yourself in a different way but maybe you’d have had more experiences with assault or with toxic people who just wanted you for your body.
Taking a different path doesn’t mean all positives, it just means that you’re hearing the positives from folks who have accepted the path they took
Honestly what I find with men is I just pick one and keep f*cking them and train them to do it how I like. I don't really enjoy finding multiple sexual partners bc I've found sex is usually trash the first time with a new person. So just having a lot of sex with the same person until I'm bored with them is much more enjoyable for me.
Some men are annoying so they'll do what you tell them so its great sex and then they forget so the next time so its trash again- can be annoying but I just do reminders and eventually got bored and cut-off. I've only done this twice so far and I've had 3 sexual partners total (4 extra if you count forplay but no sex).
I'm 25, just broke 3 years (may be exactly to the date 3yrs) of celibacy last week, haven't had a monogamous relationship yet (but honestly not currently looking for one either) Its nice to just make-out/ hook-up with a hot guy when you're drunk and still have non-committal steady sex too. Maybe I'll want to settle down soon 🤷🏾♀️.
"Maybe I'll want to settle down soon."
Hopefully not. The way in which you see men is vile. No man deserves someone like you as a life partner.
Nah sis it’s up to you, do whatever you want to do. Like if you’re comfortable w that person then u can be “wild” w them, if u had 20 partners before and was wild w then that would be okay too, do whatever makes u happy