My boss has offered me a pretty substantial raise and promotion to relocate. I’m 25 and my girlfriend is 21. She graduates in the spring. It would be a big move for both of us, but she would be farther away from home. It doesn’t sound like she’s convinced it’s worth it. What do I do?

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we need % increase at a minimum and $$ figures if you’re comfortable to give an informed opinion

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can you whip that up. Need by EoD which has already passed, thx.

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If the numbers make sense and the promotion is worth the move (ex: it is still a true raise and promotion after relocating, not just a cost of living adjustment to a new city)….you take it and you go regardless of whether or not she wants to. As harsh as that sounds, the fact that you’re even torn over wanting to go regardless of whether or not she wants to gives you your answer. If you really felt you couldn’t leave her, you wouldn’t be posting on fishbowl for advice. You already know the decision you want to make and you’re looking for others to validate it, so here it is: go. Choose yourself first. That’s what your 20s are for. It is perfectly okay to be “selfish.” If you fall on your face you can always move back home, if you lose someone you love because it’s where your life took you, then it wasn’t meant to be anyway. Sincerely. Take the risk and do it scared. As long as it’s a calculated risk and not a blind prayer, 9 times out of 10 it pays off.

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I second A1 you need a solid answer on the figures before making the move. Also not to be an ass but I will give you the story of my coworker. She’s going through a divorce now and I asked her what she disliked about her current experience. She said that her divorce uprooted her life and made her leave her home state and her dream job. The whole point to this story is you and your gf need to have a solid agreement on your decision. Someone has to sacrifice and you guys should talk about what you both want. Hope this helps.

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Agree with Accenture we need to know the details of the raise. But even without those details, I think there is definitely a shift in mindset between the years of 21 and 25. You have an established career, your girlfriend hasn’t even graduated yet. She may not legitimately grasp how great of an opportunity this is for you or how much X amount of money can make a difference. I personally put my career/financials first because I am building a future. I am in a successful long term relationship and of course there is sacrifice but you also have to keep pursuing your dreams or you will become resentful down the line.

likesmart

There is also the possibility to take the opportunity and test it out. Maybe neither will work out, maybe one will and the other won’t. Maybe both will. You don’t want to be resentful that you passed up a great opportunity and you can set the change as something to reevaluate every 2 years together

Are there not a lot of opportunities for you to make more money and get better roles at the location you currently live in?

Is this raise and promotion worth the move?

Are you close to your family and care to be around them everyday?

Are you someone who is career oriented?

Do you want to travel to and live in new places?

Are you and your girlfriend in a serious relationship where marriage is in the picture?

Is your girlfriend solely looking out for her best interest or is she considering your best interest too?

These are things you need to consider.

helpful

Bros before hoes.

Fr. He's likely not going to be with this individual in a few years anyways then may regret his decision of not moving.

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- consider where you currently live / where you’re moving to: how much are your real wages increasing by?

- do you have this promotion offer in writing? you can use it as leverage while recruiting for a different company in your area and make more money.

- imma keep it real with you chief, long distance isn’t it, so if she’s not down to move when you want to, your chances of breaking up / your relationship getting toxic skyrocket.

- if your girlfriend moves in with you, will she have a way to pay for her expenses + portion of rent?

i would consider these factors before moving.

also if you live in the middle of nowhere i’d move regardless lol. if you’re going to move to the middle of nowhere i wouldn’t move either

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