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Two people can have the same name. Just wait until your daughter starts daycare and there are 9 olivias and 5 Sophias.
Also one other thought, if this person otherwise has a stellar track record as a friend, and just announced to you with no self awareness that it may be sensitive, is it possible she didn’t remember where she heard the name? I remember being at a loss for what to name my second that I liked at endless lists of names from several cultures looking for inspiration. Easy to forget where you came across one that stuck. Only you know her, so give yourself a beat to process and share your feelings when ready.
First and middle! That’s no coincidence. Sorry this happened to you!
You can still use the name. When I was a kid there were 5 Michaels and 5 Jennifers in our class.
Fellow child of the 70s I assume
I’d tell her off if it was me.
There is no such thing as stealing a name. So reframe it to a more honest phrasing of “my friend used the name we planned on using.”
There was no ill-intent (I’m assuming), so be sad about the name but realize that you can still use it if it’s “the one” or that when you actually have kids you might not have used it anyway!
Now, if there was ill-intent and she knew it was your pick and didn’t discuss it with you ahead of time then she is actually not your friend. So problem solved! Use your name bc you won’t be hanging out with her anyway!
You “know” next will be a girl?
Oy, where to begin…?
I’m generally not in the camp philosophically that a name can be stolen, but given the uniqueness, specificity and conversation around this specific name I think it is a bit odd that a close friend would do this without at least feeling like it warranted a conversation to see how it made you feel. That does seem a bit insensitive and odd. I think it’s up to you to decide if this is a friendship ender but it should not impact your love of the name or intention to use it should you have a girl. This doesn’t in any way diminish the meaning the name holds for you and your family.
I’m sorry it feels sad. If you’re able to get over it, though, maybe it’s a way to bond even more. If this anecdote helps, my mom had a cousin with the same 1st and last names. They were in the same grade at school and everyone consequently called them First Middle all growing up. They loved it and pretended they were twin sisters.