My husband and I make a combined income of $200k. After our mortgage, two kids in daycare, groceries, utilities, a few other bills…we are broke. Anyone else in the same boat? I feel more broke than I ever have since starting my career. I know it’s daycare…but we literally are at a point where we have no room in our budget for anything fun…

I know it’s very rough, but your kids won’t be in daycare forever. We weren’t able to save much when both of my kids were in full time daycare. Now they are in school and are 8 and 6 it’s like we received huge raises. We are able to save so much money now! So, I just wanted to point out there will be a light at the end of the tunnel!

If you have that kind of income and you are still “broke” than you are living above your means, maybe you bought too expensive of a home or bought brand new cars, something doesn’t add up here. None of that stuff that you bought will ever make you happy trust me.

Yep, same! Beyond broke; racking up debt and just hope for something to workout...cheaper Childcare, less home repairs...something

Same, I’m divorced now but when married we were making just over that combined and always broke. In a HCOL (Boston)and it felt like nothing, no savings at all.

We are in the same boat. 200k combined income just outside if Chicago and our day care costs are $2,700 a month. It’s such a hard season of life. Our kiddos are 6 & almost 5. We won’t have to pay for childcare by August of this year and it’s going to be a HUGE pay increase. It’s so hard finding good childcare, and we chose a nanny over day care 5 years ago because day cares were so hard to get in to. I know parents in our area are struggling to find childcare. The only thing that keeps me going is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

This thread makes me feel so much better. We are at about $375k combined and I constantly wonder how we spend so much on just living.

It’s really hard when you feel stuck. My recommendation is to work with your partner to turn your finances into a game and document everything with an app like Monarch or even excel. You may feel like there is no way out of current situation; have you sat down together and analyzed every expense, debt , and the flow of income. You may find some things to trim and also find ways to live a “skinny” couple years financially. You’d be surprised the progress and change in emotions once you start taking a critical look at every “little” expenditure. I’m NOT saying live like a prisoner but ask yourself what you might be willing to give up in favor of feeling better about your finances and having breathing room.

My husband and I were making $240k HHI with 3 kids in daycare (3 YO and twin infants) and barely saving for retirement (I think 7% of salary). We were paying so much in taxes and rent but couldn’t afford to go on vacation.
We moved from LA to Dallas in 2019 and our lives finally started turning up. We got pay raises while greatly decreasing taxes and home expenses. Now we are at $350k HHI and kids are in elementary school and we are maxing out retirement, going on nice vacations, bought a new car, put 20% down on our home, etc. Our net worth went up $350k in 4 years mostly because we left LA.

Are you paying mortgage on a home in California?
How much do you spend on restaurants?
It pays to cook your own meals. You’ll be surprised by how much you can save.

I would recommend the budgeting app YNAB. We make more than you do and still use it. It forces you to confront what you’re ACTUALLY spending on things right now, lets you allocate your money to your priorities, and smacks you in the face with the consequences of overspend. For example, if you spend $5k on this destination wedding or even $200 on one more fancy meal out, that’s that much less you have to spend on daycare or save for retirement. It changed our lives and we have never felt more financially secure.

1000%. My husband and I make the same income combined and we live paycheck to paycheck with three kids in daycare. My only small nugget of advice is to pay off your debts- any and all of them- so you get some of your income back. Eventually, the daycare cost will go away too. Solidarity!

Just here to say my husband and I are feeling the same. Our combined income is above 300, but we have 1 child in daycare, a 2k mortgage, high student debt, expensive home repairs, as well as the usual bills we all have and we are struggling to put money away. I know we’re lucky to have the income that we do, but things seem to keep getting more and more expensive and raises don’t even match up with those increases. Trying to create a fruitful future for our daughter seems more and more of a pipe dream than a reality.

Hi Op- I feel for you...I'm a 31 yo female living in Thailand with my husband.... But look on the brighter side. You have two lovely kids. We've been trying for over a year now..
I know it's not comparable. But just to show everyone has struggles...all the best..

Wow. The judgement in this thread. People are allowed to be vulnerable and vent about struggles regardless of salary.

I am in the same boat. However, I have come to realize that our feeling broke is after we have maxed out contributions to retirement, college funds, healthcare, and the necessary life outsourcing that allows us to remain in our careers.

But I feel you. It sucks to feel cash poor right now while you have children in daycare. That was always the hardest time for me financially. It got better once they started regular school. But in order to work you still need aftercare etc. so there are plenty of hidden costs.

I’m so lucky my youngest started kindergarten this year AND my mother in law moved in to help with after school time… but my oldest starts college in the fall and can only take out $5500 in loans to cover her first year ($22k total cost) - so guess who gets no break? 😩

In a similar situation, we and my wife are in our early thirties and bring in just below $200k combined in the NYC area. We have ended up spending all our incomes on rent and daycare costs.
Hopefully 2024 is the year where we finally buy our house, but would be even more broke and hardly have any money saved other than 401k

Same boat. Live in Chicago. Combined earnings of $280k. 2 kids in childcare and we practically live paycheck to paycheck.

Yes. We make a little over $200k and have only 1 in daycare, but my husband also pays child support for his first 2 (even more than daycare), so we feel broke. I’m 40 and keep thinking, “I thought I’d feel more comfortable by now, after 15+ years of a successful career” … never imagined I’d feel so broke and like you, worse off than I ever have before.

I am in the same boat. Year over year, it’s getting harder and harder to pay for everything, but I’m working harder than ever with a lot less downtime or personal time too. In fact, not relying on credit cards is impossible and quickly becoming an unsustainable way to live.

I suspect a ton of people are in the same situation and it’s a depressing, harsh reality.

Nothing makes sense anymore—my immigrant parents worked hard for my opportunity and had a BETTER quality of life, more wealth accumulated and more options than I experience.

Not sure where all the economic “health” inputs come from, but from where I stand, there’s nothing healthy about a shrinking middle class, and rising debt among the masses on which our US economic system is based.

I suspect there is more unnecessary spending in the budget than you realize. The little things add up quickly and you end up spending on momentary convenience rather than paying down debts.

We were in a similar position when our kids were in daycare. Daycare costs are absolutely insane. But we also were going out to eat more than we realized, out for coffee more than we realized, racking up subscriptions, buying clothes/etc more than needed, and spending way more on groceries than we needed to spend. It was eye opening to really look at where our money was going. We were able to cut back/change our behavior enough to pay off debt WAY sooner than we would have otherwise. But we had to say no to a lot of things, cook/meal plan way more, cut back on subscriptions, and do free fun activities for several years. Once we adjusted to the new behaviors, it felt fine. We didn’t really miss a lot of what we were doing before. Some of it has crept back but most of the changes stuck.

Seriously- sit down and look closely at where your money is going, be honest if the expense is a want or a need, and figure out how to buy yourselves some financial breathing room.

People in this thread, to include OP, are delusional. Your salaries put you in the upper middle class to wealthy. But you're complaining about being strapped! :D How do you suppose the people around you who are washing your dishes and taking care of your lawns and kids and pets are making it... and maybe with even more kids?

Try downsizing the bullshit in your life. Destination weddings and 6k mortgages!! GTFO! 😀

I have never seen more posts from more out of touch people in my life.

We were never able to afford day care, one of us stayed home. Not having the 2nd income was the problem. Now that career would have to start from the ground up again. Unaffordable child care is the biggest issue in the US for working families. It has been a huge source of stress and severely limited any wealth accumulation for us over the years. I feel like we are a stroke of bad luck away from being in dire trouble, like if one of us became seriously ill.