Related Posts
Anyone have recs for a Nephrologist/Kidney doc?
More Posts
Diwali gift scene at GDS??
Can someone please refer me to KPMG?
Is financial engineering a thing?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.




I wouldn’t give him a chore like he’s a kid. Some guys, even if you don’t mean it that way…they feel it’s like mom giving him a chore.. try figuring out what motivates him…like some guys are motivated by sex… or when he gets home greet him w a glass of his fav drink. Guys are task oriented but motivated by a “treat” try it.. try anything that u know motivated him.. guys also like to feel powerful.. try the “honey I can’t do this, ur way stronger or smarter than me .. can you help me w this… I’ll make it worth your while. 😉 “ try it just don’t presented like a chore.
You don’t think that’s a double standard? I work from home, but it is just as stressful if not more stressful than his job and I manage to do chores without all that….I could never pull off seeming genuine doing that anyway.
I do think that exercise/wellness are not things that you can tell someoen else they need to do. they will start to hide their behaviors from you and start to resent you a lot. I deal with some similar struggles in my marriage but my approach has always been just to lead by example, offer support, talk about my own fitness goals/journey, and it has a positive impact because it's not me pointing a finger at him. I want my husband to always know that I love him and support him regardless of what he's going through. And sometimes our lifestyle is more active than other times. I find that normally when I feel like this it's because I'm frustrated with my own health/fitness
I don’t think he likes to talk about my goals. He has implied that I’m going too hard. I know if I say nothing, he’ll do nothing; he did say I should ask if he’s worked out and compliment him. The chore part is a struggle…
Man here: From my perspective it seems like he has a sh!t job so when he comes home he just wants to zone out. And there is also something going on at home in the relationship which you both have that’s causing him to be apathetic. You need to sit down and see if he is open to talking to you about what he’s going through. Unfortunately as men we keep a lot of sh!t in and we typically don’t know how to cope and then things blow up because of the pressure that’s built up.
Not sure if yours was a love marriage or an arranged one, but if I were a woman regardless of how I came to be with my partner, I would try being loving. For example try simply sitting next to him and taking his arm and wrap it around you and snuggling up to him. Don’t even ask him any questions just watch whatever he is watching with you. It gives him both the mental space he needs and makes him aware that you don’t need anything from him in order for you to show affection. I think the problems you’re talking about are superficial and not addressing underlining issues that are definitely going on with him and perhaps even yourself in your relationship.
I'm in the same situation with my wife. I feel very let down because when we were dating, we worked out together and I was looking forward to a lifetime of an active lifestyle. I also "settled" with her although she was carrying a lot more pounds than I find physically attractive because I felt that if we continued being active, the extra weight would fall off. Hasn't happened. I'm really not looking forward to having kids with her because I know that will give her even more of an excuse to march towards obesity. Chores aren't an issue though. She's an excellent cook and we are both effective at keeping the home very clean.
BCG1 - the opinion on BT1 is that it takes a garbage human being to marry someone despite finding them physically suboptimal in the hope that they can fix that once they’re married and then not wanting to have kids because of the physical impact that it’ll have on that person’s appearance. It’s some toxic body shaming garbage.
It sounds like you’ve decided he needs to exercise, not him. Unless he feels it’s something he wants/needs to do, then he’s going to struggle to proactively do it. So it comes down to you being unhappy with him for not doing something that he doesn’t want to do, yet does not impact you directly.
Sooooo… get over it or get out.
Cool. The health thing still needs to be something he feels he wants/needs to do.
But overall, he sounds lazy. Did y’all not live together before getting married? That would have been a healthy red flag for me if he didn’t bother doing chores.
Maybe he needs a physical. He could be iron deficient. I know iron deficiency causes exhaustion.
I used to have that problem; I should ask him about this.
Or a workout buddy (probs a dude) to help motivate him. New workout clothes or shoes can be a good motivator!
I tried suggesting a male workout buddy; he won’t go for it : (
I don’t understand how he can’t make himself clean, exercise in the evening since that would free up our weekends and improve his health; if working out in the morning is difficult due to work/fatigue, why not use the 2 + hrs available in the evening? We don’t have kids yet.
My husband is similar laziest person, i am sick of asking him to do anything weather it is about his own work or any household work all things are up to me. He somewhat does things when he is with me but when his parents visits he gets sticked with them sitting in a corner in living room on couch, no one can ask him to do anything when they are around, and best part is they are so kind they dont ask their kiddo to do anything. Parvarish hi galat haato me hui h 😵
Jeeze Louise when you can’t read abbreviations without coordinating them with work acronyms you know you need a break. I legit read PM as project management and am as account manager. I had to reread this twice to make sense