My kid is 1 month old... he cries a lot for reasons other than being hungry or being wet. Very fussy during the day and constantly needs to have his pacifier stuck back in his mouth. I’m finding myself having a very short fuse/ getting angry very easily/ being very irritated by the constant cries, especially because they do not seem tied to any underlying problem. Has anyone else experienced these feelings of anger ? Feeling like a terrible parent

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This is very normal behavior for the first few months if they’re colicky or their bellies hurt a bit. I’ve had a lot of success carrying my kids belly down on my forearm, with my hand on their jawline. They like the pressure on their bellies; they’ll often fall asleep like that. Also look for seats that keep them on an incline.

What’s his mom (or other dad) doing while he’s crying? I have 3 kids, and I took 4 weeks off each time, and weeks 5-8 were not my most productive by any stretch. I think you should try to reset your expectations of a work day for the next month, and try to build in some more time to help with baby. These days will be gone in a flash. Anger is not helpful, because nothing will make your son change until he’s ready. You have to change & adapt, because he can’t.

Think about that anger and what’s triggering it (you want to do X, and you can’t because of him). It’s poison. And the triggers for anger will go up as he gets older, and he finds new (seemingly on-purpose) ways to annoy you. You need to dramatically reset your expectations and priorities for the day, and build in flexibility to allow that stuff to roll off your back, and enjoy your son for who he is right then. Do you want him walking on eggshells around you when he’s 5? Think longer-term. Breathe. Remember your real priorities and act accordingly.

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It's hard, my daughter had the worst gas for the first six months and it was so hard to deal with for us, but moreso her. The biggest thing to remember is that as hard as it is for you to diagnose so you can help, every pain to them is terrifying. It's the worst they have ever felt, it's the most uncomfortable they've ever felt, and have no way to tell you anything. I would always try to remember to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and realize that me getting angry or visibly frustrated will only add to their fear and upset. Our infants do pick up on our anger and stress, it's hard to hide but keeping a calm demeanor is valuable.

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Look up the Period of Purple Crying on YouTube. Some babies go through this...it’s part of their normal development and there really is nothing you need to do but endure and love him.

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OP unfortunately this is common behavior and even doctors would advise to be patient unless there is underlying problem like colic disease or gastric problems

I have faced exact similar problems when my kid was less than one year.

First thing.. Let the doctor confirm if there is a colic problem.

If there is no colic problem, try to use some counter top.. I used to give my kid some probiotics which helped a great deal. Mommy's bliss probiotics drops. This saved my life. Now every kid is different. Just make sure u talk to pediatrician before doing any of this.

Nothing wrong with pacifier. Only thing u need to worry is when it starts interfering with teeth structure. My child had a pacifier plugged in full 3 years. Turned out fine.

Now anger.. It's absolutely normal. Only you can control ur anger. U r not really angry at ur child., u r angry abt everything else. For ex: I used to get angry because I couldn't concentrate at work. I gave up. I understood my career needs to pause for the next 2 years and did not take things seriously. It was peaceful after that. Now I grind to catchup on lost time.. It's just a circle of life.

Good luck OP. Strength to you.

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OP this is very normal and patience will be key. Is your wife breast-feeding ? If so then she needs to take a look at her diet. Dairy, spicy food easily affects a baby bowel system.
Good luck

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Constantly fussy babies could also be due to heart burn. Probably worth a chat with your pediatrian.

My daughter had pretty bad acid reflux that caused a similar situation.

Definitely ask the doctor and try different things. Even if you don’t find an underlying cause, please don’t be hard on yourself. Every kid is different. My son cried a ton as a new baby but was sleeping almost 12 hours a night straight by 10 weeks. My daughter was so easy during the day but was regularly waking up during the night well after turning 1. She’s six and still does. Easy to get her back to sleep now though.

The “Witching Hour” and it’s totally normal. If you’re breastfeeding then throw the kid on the boob, if not, offer a bottle, if that doesn’t work then at least you can dismiss that the kid isn’t hungry. My first kid I found putting her in the carrier, bouncing on an ab ball with the dustbuster on did the trick. But yes I became super frustrated, it’s all normal. You’re doing fine dad, have a scotch.

It’s probably gas or acid reflux. Shell shock wears off and you will go into autopilot. Stay calm, enjoy the moment. It’s difficult to see when you’re in the middle of it but stay calm. Light at the end of the tunnel somewhere towards the latter half of the first year.

Go easy on yourself OP. The first few months with a newborn are brutal. No sleep, lots of stress etc. You are basically just trying to survive. A lot of guys are problem solvers. (I am this way) Crying baby = problem. All problems have solutions right? Not the case with babies. Sometimes they just cry no matter what you do and you just have to accept it. Maintain the perspective that this is temporary, it won’t last forever, and you will get through it.

Thanks all

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