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Hi guys ,
I am in a US project in Accenture.We have long calls in the night timings. My other teammate has backed out saying she won't attend any calls as she got some medical condition so she won't attend long calls which extend till 9:30.Other teammate is a junior.The managers are expecting me to join all the calls.No help I am getting. And they all being Tamil, I think some partiality is going on between them.Even our onsite lead is of no use.She expects me to attend long calls.
What should I do .pls suggest?
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May be best for HR to deal with this, or at least advise you on how to proceed. You need to be very culturally sensitive.
If i went to HR, i would not give the name of the colleague at all. I would just say its a colleague i work closely with
In addition, i emphasize my previous comment because the lady is also a person of color. They don’t get enough grace and mercy from HR
I think you are right - getting some advice from HR may be best here. But it’s also early days, so I’ll wait to see if it happens again. I am direct and can give her some thoughtful and empathetic feedback but this is a touchy - and risky - subject (body odor or bad breath are a bit different to e.g. dress code). She’s just moved over across half of the globe and I want her to settle in, feel comfortable and for us to build trust. Good news is I have a mentor for her already who would also be well suited to have this dialogue, in line with any advice from HR. Thank you for the suggestions!
I’m Indian and know that a lot of Indians from India don’t use deodorant and have bad BO. Idk why they don’t do something about it tbh. I feel like you could just nicely tell her.
Dear, the BEST advice for you, given all potential causes, is to align with HR. This is a very sensitive situation. There are reports and guidance from HR specialists around BO that you can read in the internet as well. This is a common issue, surprisingly very discussed. Also, no need to mention she is from India, this can happen to anyone, from anywhere. There are a lot of biases specially around people’s smell and cultural associations to hygiene out there. You do not want to make others believe you follow the same bias.
Thank you for sharing that perspective. I’m not making any judgements, just stating facts - I noted she is a young woman and has just moved halfway across the globe. If anything, the fact she has just moved to the US emphasizes the need to be sensitive and thoughtful about the approach, as there are cultural nuances and sensitivities I want to be mindful of. So your point, that this can happen to anyone from anywhere, is well taken. It just so happens that she is from India.
Maybe wait and see if it happens again or was just a bad day for them?
Ask a Manager has addressed this a few times with helpful advice, including this: https://www.askamanager.org/2013/04/how-to-talk-to-an-employee-about-body-odor.html
Very useful and a great read! Thank you
I think HR just needs to come up w a body odor , fragrance related edu video for all, just like they do for other trainings. This shouldn’t have to be a one off conversation
No managers have to have challenging convos.
Better from manager than a peer. & what if it takes time to find a mentor that’s willing to say it?
Please find a gentle way to have the conversation. Be understanding. Be empathetic. Be relatable. Be real.
If it was me, i would be relatable and real & say sometimes i also go a couple days without deodorant or cleansing my underarm (bc i do), but i get away with it bc i didnt leave the house 2 days straight.
But that’s me. Just add something to show that you understand, even if you bathe twice a day and refresh you deodorant 4 times a day lolllll
It’s better if a manager brings her BO to her attention because if a peer brings it to her attention it may cause a work place conflict.
HR all the way
Perhaps send a mass email to everyone that strong smelling lotion and perfumes are not allowed due to people who are sensitive on your floor. As a reminder ... (whatever you think you could say to their face.) Make it general and cc HR
Either you tell her empathetically and ASAP or tell HR to do it.
As an American raised abroad but having lived in the States for three decades now, Americans are very sensitive about BO and a good deal of personal space (even pre pandemic). It’s not bad, just different from other cultures. Perhaps frame it this way? I am very grateful to the prof who warned me that my steady eye contact (which was considered polite in the European country I was raised in) came across as invasive and unnerving in the U.S. It made me much more aware of small cultural differences that are important to adapt to in the workplace.
In my opinion, you need to have the discussion and not run away from the conversation. You can get advice from a mentor or HR but don't make it their to do. This will then also build your skill.
Fyi: People who have a BO, know they have BO. That goes for any feedback actually.
Do you know anyone from India who has adapted to our cultural standards? If so, ask her for suggestions or schedule a lunch with both of them. Knowing someone who has been in her situation may help. Also, she may have sensitivities to regular deodorant.
Mentor
Get HR involved
As a manager you should address the BO issue in a sensitive manner. No need to bring in HR or anyone else - in fact the more people you talk about it with the worse. Check out Manager Tools - they have a podcast on this topic that will likely give you very actionable steps to follow.