Need some opinions with a situation I’m dealing with my roommate. So, she’ll have people stay over and 95% of the time she won’t tell me about it. And they’ll stay anywhere from a few days to a month. I’m more annoyed when they stay longer than a week or so. She has someone over now and didn’t tell me. It’s been about a week now. If she stays longer, am I a bad person if I ask for her to pitch in with the utility bill or something.

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That’s not ok. At all. If she has guests for more than one night, for a weekend even, at the very least a heads up or your go ahead should be necessary.

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You didn’t sign up to live with two roommates, one of which is an unknown, so ofc you’re annoyed

This would be a no for me.
Do you and your roommate share groceries, kitchen appliances, or even bathrooms? I’d be have a talk with your roommate about this asap. I was in this situation years ago and wish I spoke up about it sooner.

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We share appliances and kitchen accessories. She actually has her own bathroom but when she has her friends over they’ll sometimes use mine. I’m going to, it’s getting too much. This is why I’m getting my own place once the lease is up.

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One time my roommate asked if her boyfriend (who was recently fired from his job for drug abuse and sexual harassment - very high level at a well known company) could stay over for a week as he was renting out his apartment to make extra money, I said a couple of days is fine but I don’t really feel comfortable around him particularly alone while she was at work. He stayed for two weeks until I had to ask him to leave and they went to a hotel and made me feel awful about it.

My advice, it’s your home and you shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable in it. Friends staying over for a weekend if fine but you don’t run a bed and breakfast, especially not for free.

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How much is the utility bill? No point bringing up $15. Now, if you dont feel like you signed up for a third roommate, that’s a different situation - and you should have that convo.

The whole situation is a no for me tbh. I love NYC and would never leave, but it’s relentless in terms of how much social energy it takes from you. You step outside and there are 10 million people, which is fine, but it means you need to be able to come home and have your own predictable space and relax. That’s hard when you don’t know who is staying there and how long. Even more exaggerated when they’re using your bathroom.

I probably wouldn’t care about bills unless someone is staying 2+ weeks, but sounds like there needs to be better communication and just asking you how you feel about it in general.

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