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Rising Star
Why can’t my exes leave me alone
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When do you feel the most purpose?
Rising Star
Too shy to post my face so here are my legs
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Why shouldn’t it? If it’s a cornerstone to someone’s identity and worldview it seems reasonable that many people would want a mate that shares similar views.
Enthusiast
Ok, so are you saying that your choice of religion chooses and, by definition, disqualifies people based on “preset values”?
When I said “I don’t need a religion for any of that, that’s super weird” what exactly did you think I meant?
Chief
It seems a lot more relevant and important to long term relationship success than how tall or attractive someone is.
Chief
Def matter, once u have a kid, shiet gets complicated
Tbh I’m pretty agnostic but would raise my kids in some sort of christian religion because I think it teaches good values etc. I got confirmed as a catholic, did sunday school and the whole thing, but I don’t regret the time I spent doing it
Religion is usually something which shapes very foundational value systems. Differences there will likely lead to differences in things that are very hard to reconcile imo
Rising Star
Not really. Religion is also culture and it shapes how people think, what they want in their life, how they plan for the future. Not everyone will be compatible and that's ok.
Visual Storyteller
Why does it suck? That's a MAJOR factor. It's weird you think it shouldn't be a factor.
I couldn't spend my life with someone who believes in fairy tales like that.
Enthusiast
Every time I see this salesforce guy he’s always crapping on religious people. Even used the same exact Seinfeld pic. Yawn.
Conversation Starter
If religion to one person is attending church multiple times a week, giving 10% of income and serving in the church- that is a lot of life to not share with a partner. You all weren’t compatible. No big deal- find someone with similar values.
Conversation Starter
I dont understand how its not - my faith is the very foundation of my character, how i speak, how i walk, how i treat people, how i view the world around me, everything.
Visual Storyteller
😂
In our household, we like to keep up with the times. So yeah - religions ain’t working.
I get the points being made here but my rationale is that if you’ve had similar upbringings, are able to effectively communicate, and are aligned on your pillars (importance of family, etc.) then what holidays you celebrate shouldn’t deter you from being compatible.
I understand its significance, and I’m definitely bias as I’m not religious myself so it’s not fair to project my beliefs into others, but if two people have the basis to make something work then they should give it a try rather than arbitrarily ruling a connection out because of it.
Some religions require you to convert before the marriage. For all practical purposes, I know the conversion isn't real because I don't believe in it and don't intend on practicing the religion. However I'll walk through the steps if that makes their family happy. I'm open to some religious things, as long as it's not too much of a hassle. Important to communicate that to my partner though, to make sure we're on the same page
Chief
😇
Enthusiast
Dumb picture with zero practical meaning
Enthusiast
Translation: “Why can’t two people with wildly different values and views on the meaning of life just make it work?”
Answer: because they have wildly different values and views on the meaning of life.
Yeah. Can't imagine myself with a devoutly religious person.
My husband converted for me - but in 'name' I would've married him either way, but it was important to me and I'm all for him being the heathen that he is. I just want to go to heaven so I can do the nepotism thing up there and get all my peeps / family / cronies to join the party
EYP1 - I got peeps who know peeps yo.
C1 - When you put it that way - heather to less of a heathen? not that it mattered he's an equal opportunity offender of all religions.
Pro
As someone married for 23 years to a man who grew up a different religion, it can be a stress point, esp when kids come into the picture. It really just depends how seriously someone takes their religious observance and if they are a “true believer” who believes deep in their soul that their way is the one true way or if there is any room for gray area for them.
It sounds like the girl you like is kind of inclined to the extreme - believes her religion is TRUTH, so anyone not following that is bound for hell. As weird as it seems, that can be stressful for the believer, and they can’t peacefully live a life with / love someone who is at risk of damnation. It also impacts how you choose to spend time (church once a week, twice a week, potlucks on Saturdays?) and very definitely religious instruction to children. Sounds like she wants to pray with the kids before bed each night, raise them to be true believers of Jesus and the word of the Bible, etc., and that can be a big divide between parents, particularly if that would leave to teaching values that don’t align. It can also definitely have political implications and cause strife in a marriage if someone is bringing home “guidance” from the pulpit that differs from the partner’s positions.
All of that said, I have had none of those issues with my husband because he just didn’t care. He grew up Catholic but had no actual religious beliefs - he describes himself as agnostic - so he was willing to raise our children to be Jewish like me because that was important to me. We celebrate Christmas with his family as a tradition, no religion involved as far as we are concerned, and otherwise our kids are religiously and culturally Jewish. He sees only gray area when it comes to religion, lol, so is happy to just go with the flow.
So, in my opinion, it is absolutely doable and not a reason to avoid a relationship IF both people can be reasonable and don’t think their way is the only way. However, where anyone is a “true believer”, it just isn’t going to work.
Conversation Starter
Politics is the new religion
Visual Storyteller
Well said ISA.
It's because they're actually only Pro-Birth, not Pro-Life.
My now fiancé broke it off with a girl before me due to religion. We had the conversation at the beginning of our relationship and he says it was the best choice he could have made. We see our married friends really struggle with it now that children are in the picture.
Enthusiast
It’s crazy that someone’s choice in sky-wizard means so much and can cause so many problems.
My parents are of different religions and it messed me up growing up with my Christian mom constantly lecturing me about how my Buddhist dad “worshipped demons” and berate me for coming to temples with him
Visual Storyteller
Consultant, you're trash.
Visual Storyteller
Yeah, I would not have a serious relationship with a religious person. Not because I would not be able to tolerate them but because I am certain my lack of religion or belief in God would eventually get in the way.
Enthusiast
I would not want to date an atheist by any means.