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Y’all are extra judgy in this bowl.
Anyone want to grab a drink tn?
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I would say, he’s not the type of person who’s interested in being accommodating/ doesn’t enjoy sharing drive time/ making small talk. Some people are like that! If you have to stick with carpooling, I say be the one driving so you can make the executive decision to stop or simply pack your lunch if he’ll be driving. I imagine he views that extra stop as prolonging an already long drive/ day and would rather not. Some personality types can’t be changed so you adapt yourself so YOU are still just as comfortable and taken care of 😊😊
Yes I have tried talking to him prior to the site visit to make sure I know all the details. He just didn't communicate back.
Coach
You can call him out in a joking way that he also hops in the car when going to a site. Maybe offer to drive once I awhile instead of always hopping in other cars? Also, the next time he says something snarky, ask him “Do you have an issue with me? I notice you like to make comments when I haven’t done anything to provoke you.” There’s a point where being confrontational is necessary to shut them up or make them change their behavior.
Thank you for the advice. I decided to either have a conversation or email him about the times he made inappropriate comments so we have some kind of written proof of it. Not sure which way is going to be the best. I got the feeling that he thinks he is always right.
Some people prefer driving alone, and 4 hours isn’t so crazy long that it’d be weird to take on by himself. So he may just see that differently than you do. If you can avoid carpooling with him, you might want to try that.
But it does sound like he’s picking on you, and I agree you should call him out next time. He might see you as someone who doesn’t fight back, so it’s important to show him that you will in fact push back (professionally).
Yes I would like to have a conversation with him instead of involving the management. Even if I leave this group, I still have to work with him for a long time. And I don't want him to keep picking on me in front of other people and ruin my image.
Continued: the latest comment he made was, "I am seeing a pattern from you that you have been hoping on other people's ride for site visit instead of just driving yourself? Do you know how to drive properly?" Tbh I personally see a lot of benefits of driving together specifically when you are driving for 3-4 hours straight from 4 am. We can keep each other awake and safe and help drive 50% time so someone doesn't have to drive continuously for 4 hours. I feel that he is just giving me a hard time. Worst part is he also hops in when someone else is going to the same site.
I drive often. And most times not even with him. He just likes to make inappropriate comments and always tries to give out his opinion even when it doesn't concern him.
I think I didn't mention it here, I have carpooled with him maybe 3 times in the last 3 years. I have mostly carpooled with other people. It's even encouraged to come to office, pick up the office vehicle and if more than one person is going to one place, just go there together. He just likes to give out his opinion.
Yes I volunteer often. And even if it's a pattern, why would he point it out? There is no requirement how many times someone has to drive. Most times I don't even carpool with him. So for him to make any comments is inappropriate.
Coach
Take the hint. They don’t want to ride with you. Drive yourself and never carpool with this person ever again.
I wasn't trying to ride along with him. He overheard my conversation with another engineer and we were talking about reserving an office vehicle together. This conversation didn't concern him at all he just needed to give out his opinion.