Monday Morning rumination: unsolicited advise is criticism.

Much to reflect on with this topic. Last week I was told in a 1:1 with a new contact that I was “too direct”. After some time chewing on the conversation I was struggling to place the emotions I was feeling. Turns out I was feeling guilty and shame for being me, for taking up space. Lesson of the week: unsolicited advice is a criticism of you, a micro aggression of who you are, and being “too much”. What would you do??

I’m dealing with a difficult management situation and don’t know what to do, how would you report someone when nobody really cares what’s going on or is automatically going to side with the other person?

The new junior on my team is from the South and refers to me as “Sir” and it’s making me feel all kinds of ways. How to proceed from here?

Partners / Managing Directors: in your junior years, how did you manage not wanting to work with a Senior Mgr who consistently tries to pull you into work he is doing? (He lies, tries to make you think that he is doing you favors, etc.) Does your answer now change as a Partner / MD?

For freelancer that work with multiple clients at once. Do you have any tools to manage calendars across different emails? Ideally, when I get a meeting invite from one client it would block my availability on my other accounts.

I am so tired of getting mixed up with the other black female associate at my firm. Sigh.

When do you think associates are usually let go in small practice groups that are currently being overwhelmed with work? Is it when it starts to slows down or when they already have a candidate to replace you? Just trying to figure out how long I have after annoying a partner 😂.

Ok, so I messed up. I thought I had pressed hold when I turned to a coworker and said the customer was “one of the rude ones.” …turns out she wasn’t on hold, and heard me. How do I apologize to my boss?

My partner is unstable, refuses to take their meds. Regularly snaps and lashes out at me. Im leaving and I feel compelled to tell HR for my replacement’s sake. Am I out of line?

Do you shoe check others at the office?

At an in-office happy hour I once had a coworker shout out loud that she doesn’t trust people who do not drink upon discovering I had OJ in my champagne glass. #rude #IdidntGiveAfuck

How do you handle a passive aggressive boss? Mine seems friendly but screws me over when it comes to giving guidance during difficulties in projects and project resources, he says mean things :(
I am new to the firm and very confused. Please guide me on how to deal with such toxic people.

Let’s talk about wrongful termination. The other day I was fired in the middle of the day without any warning. My colleagues called me because they were confused on why the Talent Manager dismissed me from the chat. I didn’t know what they were referring to. So I called my PM to ask what was happening, and she said that she just got off the phone with the TM and said they were terminating my contract on the spot due to me speaking up about micromanaging. No explanation just kicked out. Advice?

What’s your favorite WFH footwear? Any recommended brands for a chilly home office?

Has anyone experienced a superior (even a partner) bringing up political topics during meetings or one-on-one conversation? How did you (or the team) react and how did you engage or evade the topic?

My colleagues are bullying me for being gay. I thought that was against the law. Should I talk to a lawyer?

I was released without cause today but my boss mentioned my battle with mental health and that I’m looking for other jobs before canning me. Should I address this with the board or leave it alone?

How would you suggest dealing with a toxic boss? They gossip and seem to purposely be vague about critical information, likely so they can't be held accountable.

I roll my sleeves at work (cuff folded up twice on each arm.) Is there anything overly informal about this? I noticed I do it way more than the people around me but nobody has ever said anything

Part of a BD now, thinking of going on my own as RIA. Costs would be about 50% less, which makes it seem like an obvious choice. Have a deep family friend relationship with current firm, though. I don’t want to burn a bridge, but am I crazy to be a bit upset that the relationship could keep me from doing what I think may be right? Really struggling with that part of the decision.

My boss asked me to submit my career aspirations after bringing in someone in a new position over me. Is this a bill shit assignment? Has anyone else ever asked to do this?

Let’s talk about wrongful termination. The other day I was fired in the middle of the day without any warning. My colleagues called me because they were confused on why the Talent Manager dismissed me from the chat. I didn’t know what they were referring to. So I called my PM to ask what was happening, and she said that she just got off the phone with the TM and said they were terminating my contract on the spot due to me speaking up about micromanaging. No explanation just kicked out. Advice?

Hi all!

Could anyone please look at my CV and Cover Letter for IB associate roles? I need someone experienced to look at them before I start submitting.

Thanks!

Hello everyone! I’m so excited to see this bowl grow. I hope you all have a great day today ❤️

What’s reasonable rent for a decent 1bdr in Hell’s Kitchen? I want enough room for a wfh desk not in my bedroom

General Question!
According to the new Wage Rules, are companies giving Basic Salary as 50% of fixed Pay? Should we ask HR of our current company or the next company to actually do the same? Or the rule isn't a mandate and it's upon companies to follow it ?

My office is having a barbecue at one of the supervisors houses. It starts at 4 pm. what time should I show up? Social norms say arrive 30 minutes to an hour after a party start time but it’s since it’s a work party, what is the social norm for social work events?

What makes you really happy?

What credit card to you recommend pairing well with chase sapphire preferred for maximizing redemption? Pretty new to points and def don’t know a lot! I’m considering one of the Marriott cards bc we love Marriott or an Amex one! Any ideas appreciated 🤗 TIA!!

Anyone working as a 2 years + lawyer for Fragomen in Canada can share their salaries and working advantages? (holidays, billable hours etc). Got an interview coming up and want to make sure not to under-sale my profile!

Anyone relocated from Toronto to London recently (within the last 2 years or so)? My partner and I are contemplating the move...we want more diversity in our lives and want to work to live, not live to work as we do here in our respective consulting jobs. Folks who have made the switch, would you be open to sharing your experience? TIA

How is WLB and pay scale at Accenture as compared to B4s? (Asking for HR Transformation profile)

I want a BMW X3, should I buy outright or finance? What is the most reasonable amount I should expect to spend on a 2020 model?

Any experience here with M&A insurance / representation and warranty insurance? Thinking of taking an underwriting position moving from big 4 advisory

What's the notice period in OSSI?? I can not find it on offer

Does Walmart uses dell boomi

Does BMC software offer work from home

Hey 🐠, having a rough day today. Worked a 13 hour day, going through a divorce, and had never felt so empty before. Days like these make me wonder what am I truly living for.

I’m feeling anxiety about Coronavirus. Does anyone else think that the virus is being used by the government for population control? I don’t know if I’m paranoid.

Anyone own Loro Piana Summer Walks? What is your review of them?

Does anyone know a good trainer in nyc who works with folks with prior injuries (acl/shoulder issues) ?

What are examples of microagressions or bullying you’ve experienced in the workplace?

Happy Holidays to everyone! Make sure you take time to unplug and recharge. Even a 10 min nap is rest. It’s a crazy time of year.

Good morning Fishies!! Question of the day. What’s an experience you’ve had dealing with micro-aggressions? How did you deal with it? Do you feel like you reclaimed your power and confidence?

Welcome to a community dedicated to supporting those who deal with or wish to learn more about micro-aggressions. Did you know that 72% of folks are bullied by their managers? 36% of folks end up quitting their job because of bullying.

Mood today is reflection. What’s the biggest challenge you have faced in your life? How did you overcome it?

My hands are shaking!! I just got off a call with my toxic manager who is clearly not happy I am being poached for another division. I tried to hold firm as he attempted to 20 question me, who was it, who wants me, what division, how did they find out about me? And of course the gaslighting of “why didn’t you come to me I could have helped or made introductions”. Clearly everything is about him. How have you handled such situations? What could I have done better with my abusive manager?

Found out today my toxic manager bad mouthed me to an HR rep in a different division. This correlated with his bad management and abusive behavior. Luckily the new manager I’ll soon be working with dismissed it. Her words of wisdom “reflect on what you could have done differently, you can only control your actions”. How does that resonate for you? Have you had similar experiences?