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The most simple way I can put it is that my dating relationship with my now husband of 7+ years was not complicated or confusing.
Obviously we had the big and small talks plus everything in between but it was always just easy. We’re not perfect of course but we have committed to each other and working things out when they do come up.
Chief
I knew within a month of meeting my husband that we would get married. We got engaged after 9 months together, and have now been married for over a decade.
How did I know? It was just a complete certainty. I couldn’t imagine life without him, and he felt like home. Everything about our relationship felt easy, even when there were challenging external life events.
There is a “knowing” but a feeling. More important that the initial strong feelings of infatuation are great communication and trust.
Married the wrong guy first, was single for a decade. Met the second guy and knew the minute he reached for my hand.
I've never been into love at first sight or never understood when people described "magic", but when he touched me and looked in my eyes, I just knew that exact feeling, and he, were both something I wanted in my life. We've been blissfully married for 7 years. It's not perfect but he's perfect for me.
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She had baby in tummy. ~9 months
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We were trying for a while and she is older. She did not want to get married if she couldn't have kids so that I could have a family someday. I would have stayed with her anyway but she wouldn't have it. Worked out.
I heard a voice confirming he's the one right on the spot when we first met. Very few people believe this when I tell them but some of us get messages like that and yes, it did happen. He's a strikingly handsome man too.
Chief
My husband heard a voice too… saying “don’t leave without asking her out.” Been together for over a decade. Love your story!
I Married the wrong person (for me) first. I was stuck on what everyone said I should want in a partner. He checked “all the boxes” on the list people told me I should have. It was a disaster. After my divorce, when I wasn’t looking to date, I met a man. I’d already sworn off marrying again. He was helpful and patient with me. Consistent. So consistent. He showed me his character through his actions. We developed a friendship and a close bond. It took time (years) for me to get re-acclimated to the idea of marriage. He waded through it with me. It was then that I realized this is the kind of partner I wish to have for a lifetime. We’ve been happily married since :)
I grew up in a very religious family. So I was checking all the boxes that the church told me I should want and “society” in general- education matches. good job. 401k. Good credit. No kids. Fit. Car. “God fearing” (still not fully sure what that means). It was all surface level. I missed looking for the stuff that ultimately really mattered- what parts of my personality he brought out. How he comforted me. If it felt like a partnership. Shared dreams and hopes.
1st marriage- loneliest is ever felt with all the things society/family told me I should want.
2nd marriage- happiest I’ve ever been and I could give a flying f what my family/society thinks about my relationship (though to be fair they all really adore him and he’s currently hard at work on a “Honey Do” task list my mom made for her home while we’re visiting for the holidays)
What I learned in it all is to really pay attention to how I felt around him, what parts of my personality came out (did I feel safe being adventurous?), and patterns over time for his behaviors/responses.
Im not getting married. I recently had my heart broken. But i knew. When you imagined your life in perfect bliss. Routine day to day, struggles everything seemed like it’s fine if you’re with that person. A best friend and someone you can’t go a die without talkng to
Sorry for the 💔.
I didn’t think I would ever be the type to fall in love. I had something awful happen, and my guy was my in a heartbeat must tell need them now person. I don’t know how else I would have known.
I got you A1! It took me a minute to parse it but I wanted other folks to know what you were saying. And no M1 I was not making fun, just trying to get everyone on the same page. Glad A1 took it in the spirit it was intended 💕
First date.
We got married 14 months after that first date.
We had drinks and apps at one spot then a drink at another. Conversation just flowed, had similar backgrounds and friends - we were setup by a mutual friend and she got it right, ha.
She said she knew that night when I grabbed her hand and led her to the inside of the street. I knew within seconds of seeing her.
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There is no knowing, you can only dive in.
First date. But then ignored lots of 🚩 afterwards because of that initial read. Working through divorce now.
I think people also change. So just really important to stay in close communication and be open-minded to how life goals will shape out for each.
Sorry to hear that. Yes people do change but I believe there is always something that triggers the change.
I think after dating A LOT, hitting my 28yo at that time I knew what I wanted and didn’t want in someone. When I met him, after long hours of conversations and strong attraction, I realised he checked severa key boxes and was totally aligned with my core values, adding so much to my life and me as a person. As I was planning on getting an apartment, in 3 months together he offered for us to do a test drive together (he kept paying his rent still for 3 more months just in case), it worked super well, almost a year after we bought together our apartment, now we are together for 4 years and married for one. To be fair marrying him was kind of a no brainer, really. I know we can spend hours and hours talking about everything and anything, he loves to play board games as I, and he knows how to make our life so light and happy! There’s no one else I would want to spend my life with. The hardest piece is to align timing for kids vs career and travelling aspirations (especially with covid in the middle), this for me has been a way more difficult decision than deciding to live with and later marrying him.
Ps: as mentioned above, we are not perfect and have our hiccups, but I’ve never been in a relationship with such an open and honest communication channel that allows us to discuss and evolve as a couple and as human beings. And agree with someone above - being with him was never ever complicated, making decisions very easy.
Hard to describe… more of a just knowing. My biggest indication was when he hurt, I hurt too. And when the “bliss” fades and everyday life is with your best friend, mundane stuff and struggles includes.. you just know it’s them.
I’ve never been 100% certain, because I don’t think you ever can be, but we were having a disagreement and he started crying and I immediately wanted to comfort him despite being mad at him. That feeling plus the fact that we both committed to working through the issue with a therapist sealed the deal.
I was pretty sure I’d end up marrying her as soon as we started dating but we met when we were 18 so we dated for years before getting married.
First date. They tried to impress me by taking me to this fancy place and went in the wrong door right through the dining room 🙃. We both just started laughing and it set us at ease. Been married for 10 years. It was just different. I’ve been infatuated and giggly over ppl before but for them it was a starkly different feeling. There’s an ease, a joy, and deep care to my love for them. Even when we have conflict we laugh, and communicate well. I’m not one to say it’s “effortless” but it can feel that way if you commit to communicating effectively and holding on to that care for one another.