Say you've been married for 10 years and your husband suggests binge watching an animated sci-fi series for Valentine's Day. How would you react to that?

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Tbh between the kids and the dog, binge watching anything would be a dream on Valentine’s Day 😂

likefunny

This would be a dream for me but my husband doesn’t like sci fi 😂

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Same here sis! 🙂

funny

20 years together and I don’t think we’ve celebrated a single Valentine’s Day except for our kids coming home from daycare/elementary school with something. We celebrate the dates that mean something to us (when we met, wedding anniversaries, birthdays, etc.). And through trial and error and communication, we’ve found the right way of doing it that makes one or other, or both of us feel special.

My spouse hates surprises, so they don’t get surprised. But they also feel that they shoulder most of the organizational burden in the household, so they don’t know what is happening for their birthday until it is arranged (but still before the actual date).

Talk to your spouse about your expectations - if you want Valentine’s Day to be special, say so. Maybe share the burden - make the plans that you want rather than expecting them to do it.

And if you hate the idea of the sci-fi binge, either compromise accept them for what they love, or don’t and make both of you unhappy.

Either way, talk to you spouse rather than coming to an anonymous Internet forum to validate your unhappiness

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Opposed to going out to fight crowds for an over-priced mediocre pre-fixe meal and a dozen conflict roses?

likesmart

Isn't a special/romantic date something you can do anytime?

I guess I don't care to make Valentine's Day "special," it carries no weight. My husband and I regularly go on romantic dates, to the theatre, nice restaurants, out for cocktails, concerts, picnics... At least twice a month if not more. We don't need Valentine's Day to feel special or romantic, it's just a random Tuesday night like any other. Plus, Valentine's Day is a sham, overpriced, lower quality, and crowds. I think the bigger question here would be, are you getting enough quality time as a couple throughout the rest of the year?

like

Without knowing you, it's hard to know what your issue with this is. Is it that it's Sci Fi on Vday and should have been Romcoms? Is it that it's binge watching and you don't have time? Is it that it's Valentines day and you wanted to do something else?

Personally, I'd have a problem with the expectation that I'm going to binge watch anything. And I literally cannot imagine a scenario where my husband proposes to me that not only so I binge watch something, but that it is Sci fi.

So, what specifically are you looking for? Validation? Support? Justification of your feelings?

like

I guess you'd call it a sanity check.

I am not a big TV person, much less binge watching anything. Last time I binge watched TV was during Covid lockdown. With things to do out in the world why sit in front of the TV?

And then on Valentine's Day?!?!??? It's not even interactive!

But yeah, I'm also not into sci-fi so it feels to me like doing something he'd want to do but not something that I'd want to do...

I’m not married so my insight might not matter but for me it’s an issue. It’s one thing if there’s some type of sentimental thing with what you’re watching coupled with him ordering or making you a special dinner, it’s another when it’s an “event” just like any other night with no effort. Valentines Day should be a special day where an effort is made for romance. Sadly I see with the married ladies in my life that the women either make excuses for the guy, act like they don’t care about a silly holiday (let’s be real we all want something special w.e it is) or if there is anything it’s usually driven by the woman pushing the guy to do it. So honestly in my experience yours seems pretty typical. For me I believe you have every right to be upset but I’m sure I’ll get some backlash from the married folks.

like

Just express to him why you want to do something special for that day. Men are wired differently. Don’t take it personally. Just keep setting the standard that you are both comfortable with.

I would be curious why he is planning Valentine’s Day 6 months early.

Not my point. You're judging and projecting your thoughts onto someone and using us as validation for your need to judge. How awful

like

The answer to this question is so specific to your relationship dynamics and how you both relate to one another. Our favorite date nights are cooking or ordering in and binge watching something (though admittedly were not sci-fi people), so this sounds like a great V-Day to me.

Clearly that's not your vibe based on your comments here, so sounds like you need to talk it out with him and be clear on what you're both expecting for special or regular dates.

All I want is a sweet card and grill me a steak, or chicken, I don't care.

I think that’s awesome! Unless you don’t like sci-fi, and your spouse knows that, in which case that’s a terrible suggestion.

Time together doing something you both enjoy sounds much more romantic than the cliché stuff that is more about taking your money than celebrating your love.

We don’t and never will celebrate Valentine’s Day. Married 33 years

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