Serious question, what books or resources to be strategic about family planning / having kids? For example, what HHI income would we need, ideal age to have them, etc. In my mid 20s and planning for my future.

likehelpful
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Hahahahahaha. Don’t plan. It all goes to shit anyway.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful

Yeah, I thought I was financially and emotionally ready for kids. Still financially so but boy there’s no test for emotionally ready. Hardest experience of my life but also the most rewarding. Wouldn’t change a thing but hard to be totally “ready”.

Good for you for attempting to plan proactively. I don’t have many recs (mid 30s, married without kids for now) but I would research housing costs in the area you want to live in, daycare or nanny costs (because you cannot have 2 working parents without childcare help), school ratings in the area, etc.

Ex: I live in LA where a 3 bedroom 2000 sq ft home (not small but not big) in a decent public school district is $1.5M+ which means your monthly payment will be $7000+ depending on interest rates. Daycare or nanny may be $2500+ a month. It’s also terrifying to think that after maternity leave (which sometimes is 3 months post partum), you’re handing your 3 month old infant to a stranger to help take care of if you decide to go back to full time work.

Arghhhh it’s all very stressful haha. Best of luck.

likesmarthelpful

I don’t really think a book is going to tell you what you’re looking for. I found talking and spending time with people who have kids a lot more insightful - friends that live where you want to live and generally have the quality of life you want to have in the future, with similar types of jobs, maybe some different childcare options as that is a critical component of affordability. Line that up with your own spending habits / financial goals and career & earning trajectory.

likehelpful

There is never a great time, there is never a way to anticipate how much it will cost, and you never know what your specific baby is going to need. BUT- you can get a sense of the fixed-ish costs. Child care is the absolute biggest (and most stunning) cost to factor. Think about housing/schools- will you need to move, can you afford the district you want, etc. but otherwise, it is a crapshoot to try to plan for the financial part with any certainty.

The biggest thing you can do is make sure you and your partner are truly aligned on parenting approach, division of labor, expectations around balancing work/kid responsibilities, etc. When you have those conversations, be absolutely true to yourself/ don’t agree to doing more of the childcare if you will resent that deep down. Don’t assume more of the household labor if you truly (to your bones) think that is unfair. Kids bring forth allllll of the imbalance in a relationship- especially the first few years when everyone is tired, cranky, wrestling with their new identities and feeling overwhelmed.

If you two are in sync on your approach to parenting and running a household, and your communication skills are on POINT, everything else is easy (or easier, anyway).

likesmart

You can’t plan any of it - anyone who tells you otherwise is full of it. I have 3 daughters, 2 are twins. Completely different, all of them. You can’t project manage your kids.

like

M3- what is the best vehicle to save? 529? Custodial Account? Normal brokerage account?

How much should I save? Public school was ~$8,000 for tuition per year when I went, so should I target that much for when my kid goes?

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A book my wife and I are reading is what to expect when expecting, we also read other books focused on finance, relationships and parenting. We got married a couple years ago at 28 & 27. And expecting our first child next year.

I think it’s great to plan and have an idea of what you want but be flexible as well because it doesn’t always go as planned.

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